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by Alice Rhea
·INYOUREAR
$59.95
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Here's Dirt. . .
Phone: (213) 334-5195
,
THE ADVENTURES OF ALICE IN WANDERLAND
I suppose if one goes to enough desert races, some day you are bound to miss the
lime and end up lost. But there was all that beau tifuI lime on the righ t side of the
road, and when I got out to Soggy Dry Lake there was a pie plate indicating that the
Stump Jumpers M.C. was straight ahead, so although I· was a little surprised when
there was nobody camped in the rocks where we usually park, I continu'ed to follow
the lime, wondering why two clubs couldn't have come up with enough money
between them to buy an ade.quate supply of lime.
I went on for about five miles before I really got worried. By then it was nine
o'clock and time for the race to start. Burning down the road at about 40 MPH I
came upon the world's biggest whoop-de-doos, got my one-ton Dodge van
completely off the ground three times, bonking my head on the roof. Suzi jumped
her traces and landed on the plastic gas can, squirting gas allover the carpeting and
lay there with her kick stand in ruins, but a quick look convinced me that there was
nothing seriously wrong other than the bump on my noggin and the fact that I
haven't the foggiest idea of how to tie down a bik¢. I contemplated leaving it on its
side, but I decided I alr~ady had enough gas on the floor.
.
A couple more miles down the road, having decided on the exact wording of the
lecture' to be delivered to the two clubs on the importance of danger marking such
spots, I met the green truck which had passed me while I was righ ting the Suzuki. He
had come to the conclusion that we were on the wrong track. I didn't care if the race
was down there, I was too grouchy to be good company anyway, and if the clubs
couldn't do any better than that I just wouldn't go to their dumb race.
As we sat there two more vehicles arrived looking for the district race and the nice
man in the green truck broke into his cooler for a round of iced drinks for
everybody. I coerced several of the guys to tie down my bike while we studied my
bulging. map case looking for one which would give us some idea where we were. I
thought it was a nice day for a drive and would have liked to have continued down
the Toad to see where it came out, but I had already bullied the van beyond reason,
was low on gas, and couldn't convince one of the other vehicles to join me on my
adventure. I figured I had enough gas between what was in the van's tank and the
slightly 'squashed jerry jug to make it back into Lucerne Valley. We all turned
around, waiting to make sure none of the vehicles became mired in the soft sand, and
started back.
.
A movement off to the left side of the road caught my eye. Slowing, I saw it was a
motorcyclist, waving for help. H needed gas and I had some, so we mixed roughly
half a can of VBA with my approximately two gallons of Mobil Super, gave him a
tow and both of us were off again. Too late I remembered that the van was low on
gas. But they say the gods look out for fools and little children, and when 1 arrived at
the service station in Lucerne Valley (having stopped to tell Fred Boyle he was going
the wrong way and to prevail upon him to re-tie my bouncing bike) I discovered that
the thoughtful desert rider had taken just enough fuel to get hjm back to camp and
had left me with nearly two gallons of nice fresh 40-to-one mix which burns
beautifully in my great white elephant.
Well, I found the tum, found the race and arrived just in time to be too late to see
anything. I learned that Fishback got a first ahead of Pfutzenreuter. Mitch Mayes was
one more up on second place A.C. Bakken. Cordis Brooks rode a 125 Deek and got a
second behjnd brother Tom with Andy Kirker's Rickman taking third, then both
Brooks brothers dropped out of the second race and Andy got himself a first. Earl
Roeseler is supposed to have earned a fourth in the trailbike class behind (three place
behind) winner and son Larry.
I really missed everything that day, sO they tell me. After I left and was sitting in
the Y Cafe sulking into a giant Coke with lots of ice, a whirlwind large enough to
accommodate a supervan blew right through the sign-up area. No damage, but lots of
action.
Anybody who wanted to save some money had a .chance here, as BLM got only
one fee for hoth races. The clubs set up a separate van for collecting the fee and
when you paid your $1.25 they ran your AMA card through one of those credit card
stamper-jobs and gave you two receipts. Then you presented your receipt to sign-up
to prove you had paid your BLM fee. Neat, huh? Oh, you still had to cough· up the
S 1.25 even if you only wanted to ride one side of the race. No deals there.
One of the people who was looking at my maps or tying down my bjke left his
glasses. Call me and identify them and I'll send them home. (714) 642-1655. (That
number is really no secret - you could have had it all along if you had called CN and
asked. But now that you have it, don't call me and complain about my writing. I
have enough critics without you.)
Now. What are we going to do about the person or persons who are giving us all
these problems with markings? Those of you who have been cursing Brush Busters
and Sidehack Association can forget it. I told fellow Sled Riders about getting lost
and was almost hooted out of camp. "There are letters 10 feet high across the
highway:' they shouted in unison, "How couJd you miss it?" Well, there weren't any
10 foot leners across the road when 1 got there...just the lime off to the right. Three
times the club went out and marked the turn and three times somebody came along
and swept it away. And don't tell me it was the wind. The markings on the right were
beautiful and I've never heard of a wind which blew only on one side of the road.
The problem of altered or torn down courses is not unjque to District 37 desert
races. A recent article about a URA race complained of somebody tampering with
the course and local district enduros have been troubled with the problem. Let's
discuss this at our club meetings and send our representatives to the Sports
Committee with some positive suggestions. (Lying in ambush with a shotgun is
probably illegal, but long about noon Sunday it sure seemed like a good idea.)
Whatever we do, whether we patrol the courses or call in law enforcement
agencies, which probably couldn't do anything about it anyway, let's db something
soon, before one of our good desert people gets sidetracked off a course and into a
mineshaft.
eRe MX
by The Shadow
VALENCIA, CAL., June 19 - A frrst
for the Califontia Racing Club: Night
racing at Indian Dunes Park, on the
f'lillled In temationa! Course.
In the 250 Expert class, Bob
Schwartz, mounted on a CZ, ruled with
ease. Much the same could be said for
the 250 Intermediate class, where
George Elliott (Yam) was an impressive
winner.
Moving on to the combined 125
In termediate-Expert festivities, Robert
Elliott (Mon) rounded out an all-Elliott
nigh t with the victory.
Open Beginner class found Dave
Orozco (CZ), taking all the marbles.
Ra1Nhide
MX
by Mike Sixbery
ELSINORE, CAL., July I - The 100
Novice provided the action for today
with Mark Manley blanking out Steve
Sixbery for the win. It took a photo
f"mjsh in the third moto to determjne
the winner. Keith Baker showed the
way on a Honda taking the well packed
mini class, beating out such names as
Willy and Bam Bam Simons.
In the 250 Intermediate class it was
Bobby Morse heating out Jon Miller for
the overall win. In a well crowded 250
Beginner class it was Keith Dysert
battling it out with Gary Makowski, but
Keith held on for the overall win.
With a well watered and much
maintained track, it proved to be a fine
day of racing.
