VOLUME ISSUE NOVEMBER , P141
In conclusion, we have learned
that a real racer is a showoff
(#8) who loves to party (#14)
and will likely receive a query
from the IRS about his account-
ing practices (#19). The real
racer also likes to gloat about
their knowledge of motorcycles,
which will also likely impact
question #14. Fewer party
invitations will allow the know-
it-all racer to spend more time
roller-skating or having intimate
conversations with their pet
rock (#17).
Thus, 6000 years after the
Neolithic era, mankind is now
separated into three classifica-
tions. The Racing Man, who has
"the makings of a champion," the
Middle-Pack Man, who has po-
tential but "lacks a bit of motiva-
tion," and the Lapped Man, who
scored somewhere between 31
and 54 points on our psycho-
graphic exam. This banal indi-
vidual is little more than a cog in
the "system" and will "most likely
work for a company in which you
plan to stay until retirement." Let-
ting the days go by.
In reality, Zimmerman's test re-
ally didn't shed any new light on
this puzzlement. Race watchers
know that on any starting line,
there are really only three types
of racers: those who know they
can win, those who think they
might do reasonably well, and
folks who fill up the rest of the
spaces, hoping to get through
the first corner alive. From board
tracks to hare & hounds to mod-
ern-day supercross, there are
champs, chumps and those who
are in between. Same as it ever
was. Same as it ever was.
CN
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