N
eolithic man swallowed
his last bite of woolly
mammoth, leaned back
on his stone recliner in front of
a recently successful quest for
fire and pondered the question
that would not be answered for
another 6000 years.
"Are you a real racer?"
Our strong-jawed ancestor
(who anthropologists say maxed
out at about 5-foot-5, taller than
Little Fauss but looking up to Big
Halsy) had just invented some-
thing that would eventually be
called a "wheel." Surveying the
results of his CAD hieroglyphics
software program, Neo-man de-
termined that one wheel would
quite likely lead to two, which
he would call a "motorcycle." He
knew that metallurgy was on
the horizon, which meant that
internal combustion engines
and wheelie control would soon
follow. The logical conclusion
to these machinations would
ultimately result in a knockdown,
knuckle-dragging, bar-banging
race, and there could be only one
winner. Who would that be?
In the November 26, 1980, is-
sue, Cycle News freelancer Brad
Zimmerman finally wrote an ar-
ticle providing a way to separate
the wheat from the chaff: the
men from the boys, women from
girls, and racers from wannabes.
It was titled the "Motorcyclists'
Psychographic Self Exam." Turn
down Talking Heads and take
this test to see if you might find
yourself in a beautiful house,
with a beautiful wife and living
the life of a real racer!
CNIIARCHIVES
P140
BY KENT TAYLOR
IN , WE ASKED: ARE
TAKE THE TEST TO FIND OUT.
