Cycle News is a weekly magazine that covers all aspects of motorcycling including Supercross, Motocross and MotoGP as well as new motorcycles
Issue link: https://magazine.cyclenews.com/i/141039
N ~ 0. M .... '" <.0 c: -, '" en ;:: w Z W ...J U >- U SPORTS MODEL PEANUTS by John D . Ulrich 1 gue ss I d eserve it. Yo u see, 1just co uldn' t resist a beau ti ful woma n. T hat' s wh at I get for b eing an incurab le ma le chauvinist . 1 was rip pm down Holl ywood Bo ulevard mu nch ing cashew nuts (or sport model pea nu ts as my friend Virgil ca lls t hem ), when I saw her. It made me slow d own fas t , which a ny co ps arou nd would have liked seein' as as how I was t urn ing t hree times th e limit . But anyw ay I clamped o n the bind er s j ust like th e tim e when the Mack truck tu rn ed left in front o f me ju st as I went t hro ug h the cross wa lk o n Wilshir e and Brook hurst on a pal' s 190 5 POPE wi th ca liper brak es. Yeah , I was o n t hose retrocs all right ! I slid right up t o t hat scru mp tious "perfect wo ma n image" toor sie and let loose with my very b est co me-o n line. " Hi th ere! I think yo u' re o ne o f th e mo st gorgeo us wo me n in the world ! How wou ld you like to place yo ur exqu site b eau ty o n thi s nice sh iney mo to rcycl e and pose for me a nd get yo ur pictur e in Cy cle News and b e fa mous ?" G rin, G ri n, Grin. Next thi ng I kn ew I was o n my 'ass in th e gu tte r with t he o nly Yam aguc hi 2300 Ace in Am eri ca on top of me , and th e girl is screa mi ng ra pe and assau lt, and co ps are all over. Th ey drag me into a raci ng va n wit h no wind ow s. T he reason th er e aren 't any wind ow s is no t so so me racer ca n park a nd get racy with his chic k with ou t.p eep ing T urk eys ru in ing th e good wh olesom e fun . They put me in a roo m wit h no windows, ju st mirro rs all ar ound . All t he ti me t hey were mak in g j okes abo ut catc hi ng a b ig o ne this tim e and how the ma yor wan ts all the pornograph ers ru n out of to wn by su nset nex t Tuesd ay. T he head du d e hand ed me a di rect o ry o f peri od ic pub licati on s and t old me to pick ou t th e one I to ld the lad y I was fro m. T he page he tur ned to was head ed " P" , so I tr ied to t u rn it but he wou ldn 't let me, and 1 tried to ex plain b ut t he sport mod el peanuts fe ll all over the p.lace and th ey go t mad . T he head cop kep t sayi ng so me thi ng abo ut underground pap er s and corr upti ng childre n fro m t he loca'! Ca tho lic S choo l. I d idn 't kn ow what to do. So I screa me d . When I wo ke up a public la";y er an d my pa rent s who I had n;t see n in ten ye ars wer e t her e. My moth er was cry ing and asking my father what th ey did wro ng. When they saw me awak e they all got real qu iet a nd my lawy er aske d th at t he roo m be clear ed. " Let me get th is stra ight - yo u trie d to get t he Mo rm o n Bish op 's daughter to po se for a new spa pe r ca lled " Psycho Nud es?" When I sto ppe d laughing they let me ex plain. T he Bisho p agree d to d rop the c harges in o r de~- t o . " mo t iva te" me to " re pe nt ". I got t he o n ly Yam aguc hi 230 0 Ace in Am erica o ut of th e to win g ya rd a nd jumped o n th e nearest fre eway head ed home. But I' m never go nna talk to a beautiful chick wit h my mo uth fu ll of spor t mo d el pea nut s again. WITH CYCLE PARTS DUNLOP TIRES ENGLISH KNOBBY CYCLE PARTS' QUICK RELEASE TIE·DOWNS UNIVERSAL CLAMP·ON MIRRORS • ¢ @ "" " 460x18 Reg. 23.95 Reg. $7.95 $17.66 $5:95 BELL RT 500 HELMET $37.00 ~ Reg. $1.95 PLUS! ! 9ge Choose anyone of the follow ing THESE PRICES IN EFFECT THURSDAY THRU SATURDAY JANUARY 11-13 ONLY UNBREAKABLE REAR FENDER Reg. $6.95 1·WAYCOMPRESSION RELEASE Reg. $12 .95 400x18 Reg. $21.95 $4.88 1 Yr. $17 .28 Guarantee / DESERT SOLO SEAT $6.88 Reg. $9.95 FREE . ~th your n;.w Bell RT 500 - Cycle Parts Chest Tie-Downs Protector $7.95 Value $10 .95 Value Yamaha Enduro Fork Brace $9.95 Value 10 Std NGK Spark Plugs $5 .90 Value SHOP EARLY FOR THE BEST SELECTION ; ITE MS MAY BE SOLD OUT IF YOU WA IT K-81 . ••. .. Q• :.. . . .. ,, .. 410x18 Reg. $21.95 HELMET. SHIELD Reg. $1.95 9ge UNBREAKABLE FRONT FENDER Reg. $4 .95 HELMET BUBBLE Reg. $2.95 $2.66 $18.70 Limited Colors 1 Yr. Guarantee $1.95 Front & Rear Unbreakable Plastic Fenders 11.90 Value 10 Quarts Torco 2-Cycle $8.80 Value 4 Cans Blendzall $7.80 Value THIS SPECIAL THREE ·DAY OFFER WI L L END SATURDAY AT 6 PM LOCAT IONS TO SERVE YOU - OPEN SUNDAYS 10-4; MONDAYS, WEDNESDAYS, THURSDAYS & FRIDAYS 10-7; SATURDAYS 9-6. * PASA D ENA * LONG BEACH * WEST MI NST ER * HAWTHORNE 1890 E. Colorado 5869 Atlantic 13682 Beach Blvd . 12942 Hawthorne 213/423-9236 714/893-4450 213/676·8202 . 213/793·4226 The World 's Largest Chain of Motorcycle Accessory Sto res *SAN BERNARDINO * EAST LOS ANGELES * HA RBOR CITY 473 W. Baseline 400 S. Atlantic 1290 W. Pacific Coast Hwy 714/888-2505 213/264-4107 . 213/530·0904