Cycle News is a weekly magazine that covers all aspects of motorcycling including Supercross, Motocross and MotoGP as well as new motorcycles
Issue link: https://magazine.cyclenews.com/i/126003
By Diane Reichenbach - The three of them sat, legs dangling from the tail-gate of the pick-up, conspiring against their husbands. "Think we should?" Lana asked, obviously knowing the answer. "They'll kill us," Trudy replied, not really feeling threatened. "Then it 's settled," Whisper announced. "We ride!" They I eaped from the truck, reviewed their strategies, and each went off in the direction of their campers to await the departure of their husbands to the starting line. • • • Lana gave the finishing touches to her blonde hair, eye-shadow, and lipstick. She adjusted her sweatshirt and reluctantly put on the helmet she despised for smashing her coiffure. She reconsidered why she was going through with this. I'm here but I might as well not be, she thought . All my husband can say is, "Ir's nice to know yo u're there. " Where? Well , I'm a big comfort to him on the start. I stand between two bikes saving his place while he practices his take-offs. I'm seen but not heard. I don't dare say antying; he's so keyed up he might take it the wrong way. Like the time I listened to him claim how he was going to beat so-an d-so today an d I replied, "Good-luck" he screamed, "Oh, you don' t think I can do it, h uh ?" And the time when the banner was up I noticed he forgot to pull his goggles down . I ran up be hind him and mentioned the oversight. Well, I never saw Evel Knievel jump so high and cause a mass false start. - • • • Trudy tugged on her boot to get it over her bulky soc ks and hefty calf, using a few choice words thinking it would ease the boot on better. She wondered if she was really ready for the awaiting peril of the desert. My only importan t post is in the pits, she thought. "Lt boosts a ~y 's morale to sec his wife in the pits,' \ her husband always says. I've y e t to see him glance my way while all the other wives attack him with rags, water, gum, salt tablets, vitamin E, and last but not least, his gas can. That's my brief, glorious moment of seeing that he made it one loop. The rest of the time I listen to the club members' wives' lastest operations and newest detergents. Yep, I'm ready. Being beat to death is better than being bored to death. • • • . 40 Whisper (nick-named for being soft-spoken) was all geared up. She sat on her trail bike and viewed her reflection on her gas tank. Ou t of h ab it she quickly turned away pretending the fre ckles didn't belong to her. It wasn't fair a woman past thirty should have them, She diverted her attention to the guys in their camp, excitingly preparing for the race. All the racers get pampered, she sulked silently. Us non-racers pit and vicariously re-live the race hours and da ys lat er when we hear every ver sion exaggerated and re-told by husbands, club members , and friends. Why can't they just wait and let everyone read the con den sed report in Cycle News? Thank God this Sunday was going to be differen r, • • • The girls met at the start as planned af ter giving their farewells to their husbands. When the Am-Experts took off, instead of heading for the pits as they usually d id, they lined their bikes behind the Novices. "Nervous? Trudy asked the other two. "Would y o u believe guilty?" Whisper winced. "I mean, I'm racing behind my husband's back." "Ha, literally !" Trudy laughed. "You scared, Lana?" "I'm just thinking about all th e what-ifs. You know? Like what if my husband gets hurt and I'm not in the pits ? Or what if I crash on my head and I'm permanently retarded? What if I injure myself, you know, so I can't have a baby?" "Dummy!" Trudy retorted. "Chickenlng out?" "N o, What does a broken bone feel like?" Neither Trudy or Whisper knew. They agreed beforehand that they would not feel obligated to stick together if it mean t holding one of them up. Lana and Whisper would ride one loop, and Trudy would try for two. She was the best rider of the three. The banner was up for the Novices. The last engine died and only the clicking of nervous feet on kick starters could be heard. Thirty seconds passed. . "Hey, Trudy!" Lana shouted. "Shut-up! \\'hat?" "If anything happens to me you can have all my clothes." "O.K . And if anything happens to me keep that trampy Maggie away from my husband." They got a few irritated looks from the other racers. Fifteen seconds to go ... "Hey , Whisper," Lana leaned towards Whisper's ear, "I should have worn a padded bra. There's lots of rocks out there. Are y ou wearing any protective underwear?" Whisp er cringed. The thought suddenly occured to her: what if she had to be rescued and hauled off to the hospital or morgue ? Naturally, they would have to strip her down. Now, she wished she had worn her sexy Fredricks bikini pants instead of her hus ba nd's long-johns, She jumped when she thought she heard a je t, The banner had dropped. She started her bike and automatically aimed it straight ahead. Going to the bomb encircled in dust gave her an insight as to how blind people feel. A bomb run was all so familiar to her - she rode to the bomb every Saturday. But that was the extent of it. What lay past the bomb was for her to dis co ver . She felt a thud and her front end jerked up a little o n a bump or rock. Sh e had the uneasy fee ling th at she had just run over Lana or Trudy. T h ere was a bottle-neck a ways after the bomb so she eased her bike , bumper to bumper, using her feet to walk the bik e. She was relieved to see Lana ahead parked aside waiting for the trail to clear. The riders that had a late start were all past now. Whisper caugh t up with Lan a. "Hi. You crashe d yet ?" "N o, but I caused one. Have you seen Trudy ?" They stopped to talk and hav e a cigarette. "Trudy is probably wa y up there ," Whisper surmised. "How many miles we got to go?" Lana asked. "So far we covered two miles. Maybe three." "Think they 'll have an y hills?" "N ope. Mountains maybe." " I wish I had some ch ap-stic k." "H ere, usc my lipstick. " When th ey were all rested and had ex changed two recipes they followed ea ch other over the rolling hills. • • • Trudy was complaining to herself again . From far aw ay the whoop-dees looked lik e ripples. But co ming up to the m, they were suddenly a foot higher and closer together. She had a thing abou t bumpy trails. Her domes tic side visualized herself with a giant iron flatten ing out the bumps. When she came to the rocky hill she didn't see Lan a or Whisper splattered across the rocks so she figured they were still behind her. She made it up the hill with little trouble, but she pitied poor Lana and Whisper because this would be as far as they would get. But, still, they would all have something to bench race abou r, • • • Whisper and Lana stopped their bikes to survey the ro cky hill. "We ain't got a chance," Whisper shook her head. "No sweat, it 's easy. You go first." " Me ? All right." Whisper rode back for a good running start. She gave it full throttle, but as soon as she hit the incline, she lost mornen tum. Her Tear tire spun the rocks, losing tr action. Her engine died. "Come up here and push me the rest of the wa y up," she yelled to Lana. "You know what yo u can do!" "Come on - I'll h elp you get yours