Cycle News is a weekly magazine that covers all aspects of motorcycling including Supercross, Motocross and MotoGP as well as new motorcycles
Issue link: https://magazine.cyclenews.com/i/125817
~ HE: (Moaning) Oh, my brain hurts. Has the last moto started yet? ~ • 1 SHE: Huh? M .... HE: (Mumbling) Damn Amal carbo Must've fouled a plug ... SHE: ~ .... Howlwas it Ottt there, soldier? HE: (Sqttinting) What? Wow, for a second there J. thought you were Chris Economaki. UJ ~ Z W At this point Captain Blade, the Base Surgeon, enters. (Played by Robert Ryan) ...J U >- U CPT: (Paternally) Well, how's that ole throttle hand, troop? HE: (Squinting) What? Wow, for a second there J though t you were my Dad. CPT: Htth? Groans are heard from the next bttnk, and the Captain moves on to check a man completely covered by bandages. The nttrse remains with Steve. They both look at the bandaged patient. (Even with bandages you can tell it's Martin Milner) The trickest wen this side of Hugh Hefner. HE: What's wrong with him? SHE: He was in a field behind the base, practicing flt1J lock slides on a Mota GltZzi. HE: Did he do ~ highside nttmber? SHE: No, the field was mined. The scene dissolves to an M·X track elswhere on the base, where Sergeant Bones (played by Gary Bailey) is teaching recruits how to do cross·up jttmps and fire from the hip at the same time. Though Sgt. Bones is cussing and ranting loudly, we soon hear McQueen shouting louder and the scene dissolves back to the hosptial. HE: WAHOOD! That's it, That's it! GltIDping on the bttnk) I've solved the whole problem! (Still louder) Hey, I've got the ANSWER!!! Captain Blade and the nurse come rushing into the ward. Martin Milner is ttnbandaging himself as he boogie's up and down the aisle. All the patients are laughing and shouting joyously. CPT: What is it, soldier? What's wrong? HE: (Excitedly) I've got it, sir. The way to stop war! We'll have motorcycle races! Any countries th.i't want to fight will just send their best men, and we'll settle it on the track! No bombs, no killing, just racing! SHE: Oh, you super neat man. tThey embrace) CPT: (Pondering)" Hmmm, we could approach the FIM with it .. But the Captain is ignored as all the patien ts join hands as the vol ume comes up on "Hey Jude" and Steve and Ali continue their embrace. They kiss warmly as Steve raises his right hand, in motocross glove, in the familiar V sign as the Beatles' song rises to 25,000 dbA on the Richter scale. (Fade out) . Th e m oral of this film is simple. Motorcycles will save the world. Won't they? Editor's note: As you may have noted, this article began as a straight report on the army's renewed interest in motorcycles. The author then seemed to get carried away. Normally he's quiet; reserved type. But after finishing this piece, Rafferty rushe.a home and dug up his old fatigues. He painted his M-X boo ts and helmet olive drab and strapped a duffel bag on his Husqvama. Outfitted in this fashion he appeared at the Army Recruiting Center. He parked the Cycle News van around the comer, unloaded his machine, and .found a hippie news vendor who agreed (for fifty cents) to hold the center's front door open. Well, you can probably guess how it turned out. Rafferty was arrested and we had to sell his Husky to post bail. He seems to be recovering now, though occasionally he puts on the D.D. helmet and runs through the office yelling, "Mount up, you moto-troopersf" Our sincere apologies to the U. S. Army and to fighting men everywhere. e