P144
CN
III IN THE PADDOCK
BY MICHAEL SCOTT
I
t's been a torrid fortnight for
sports scandals. Thanks to the
Australian cricket team and the
merciless revelations of long-
lens TV cameras.
I realize cricket means nothing
in the U.S., but bear with me.
There are chunks of the Anglo-
phone world where much of the
population regard the once-
upon-a-time "gentleman's game"
as of paramount importance.
After the recent scandal, dur-
ing a test-match series against
South Africa, the Australian
prime minister even weighed in
to the chorus of embarrassed
condemnation.
The cheating involved tam-
pering with the ball—specifi-
cally roughing up one side of it (a
cricket ball has a seam down the
middle) and polishing the other. If
the bowler puts a stabilizing spin
on it, then the aerodynamic drag
from the rougher side causes the
ball to swerve in the air, hopefully
foxing the waiting batsman.
In the past, among other
things and often controversially,
players have used suntan cream
taken off their faces, "polished"
the ball on their trouser zips, and
used sugary saliva taken from
sucked peppermints to achieve
this side-to-side imbalance. In
Cape Town, however, long-lens
TV cameras carefully filmed a
player using a square of yellow
sandpaper. When he realized
he'd been rumbled, with a series
of big-screen replays, he shoved
BALL-TAMPERING, AND HOW TO
DO IT ON TWO WHEELS
