Cycle News

VOL. 53 ISSUE 43 NOVEMBER 1, 2016 P113 Academy. I strive to not get to the track any sooner than I need to, which means getting to the press box just in time to plunk my laptop, backpack and butt in whatever "Working Press Only" seat isn't already occupied by someone's girlfriend, cousin, pal or kid. But I figured I'd take one for the team so Hanny could do his thing. We left for the track at around 10. Here's some boring insider info: Because the MEC is a stand- alone event, Supercross Series hard cards are invalid and might be considered useless, unless in the hands of a seasoned pro. We went to the promoter will call, picked up our credentials and rolled up to the young woman guarding the pit gate. Apparently, the combination of Donnie kiss- ing her hand and me flashing my hard card like a boss was enough for her to open up and wave us through with her free hand. We parked the Donnie Hansen Moto- cross Academy rolling billboard in a prime spot and agreed to meet at the truck after the races. The first person we ran into was Broc Glover, who we have both known forever. On our drive up, I had told Donnie about a recent discussion I'd had with Broc, and how he had raved about his suc- cessful surgery on a herniated disc, something Donnie and I both suffer from. So, for the next 25 minutes, Broc sold us on his team of back doctors. Be warned, kids, this is the kind of crap that old re- tired motocross racers talk about. Next, we ran into Cole Seely's dad, who introduced Donnie to a young kid who wants lessons from him. Cole is a former student of Donnie's and Mr. Seely had good things to say about www.DHMA. com. I headed to the press box, which at first seemed empty, until I realized I was seven hours earlier than usual. I staked my claim to a couple of prime spots and chilled for a while. It was a nice change to be there early, instead of scram- bling to find somewhere to sit at the last minute. I had a chance to talk NASCAR with Andy Bowyer, who says he's related to some dude that races cars. I spoke with Husqvarna's new brand ambas- sador, Jeff Emig; made tentative plans with Pulp MX Show's Steve Matthes and had some laughs with Guy B. of Vital MX. I won a debate with fellow Cycle News contributor Steve Cox and bor- rowed an ethernet cable from Dan Dunes of MX Addicts. I started to get sleepy; I remember thinking that it sure seemed coincidental to run into all those media folks in the same place and I began to wonder if the system was rigged, especially when I saw "Brown Dog Wilson" Photoshopping (yes, that's a verb now) images right there in front of everybody. I looked around and noticed Luann over by the bar, surround- ed by a bunch of smoking-hot Monster girls and buying drinks for everyone in the press box to celebrate her go-kart victory over John. I walked over there and started to tell her that everything is rigged, even the Miss Universe pageant and probably the go- kart races, but she did not want to hear it. She said it couldn't be rigged because John was an AMA official and he would never allow it. That sounded good to me, so I let her keep buying rounds for the entire press box, which by then included Donnie and Effin' Chuck! When I asked Chuck why he didn't show up at the go-kart track, he said, "I knew it was rigged and there was no way that I was gonna let Donnie or some other chick beat me…I'm Chuck Sun and I approved this message!" That really made me mad and I was trying to yell at him, but the words came out garbled. Ring! Ring! The next thing I heard was Don- nie's voice, "Answer your phone— and stop talking in your sleep!" I woke up and sat upright. Thankfully, it was all just a dream. "Man, oh man, how long had I been asleep?" Ring! I looked at the phone. It was Gene Woods. "Hey Gene, what's up?" I said. "What's this I hear about the AMA rigging races at my track?" he said. I did the only thing I could do. I hung up the phone, got out of the truck, bought some Alien Beef Jerky and looked up at the world's tallest thermometer. It said 110 degrees. "Let's go home, Donnie." CN

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