VOL. 53 ISSUE 29 JULY 26, 2016 P111
we're not talking about me yet,
so chill), like "Billy's Barf-bag
Filler," or "Jody's Box." Yeah, I
know the first one was fake and
the last one is real, but I meant
no offense. I liked Jody's col-
umn for the most part, but I've
always had the feeling that when
he wrote columns about Lovely
Louella and Chicken Licks Race-
way, it was because he was a
little short on material…
As I read those columns by
those editors over the years,
I remember thinking to myself
that these people could write
about anything they want to write
about, and this is the best they
could come up with? (See also:
"Out of 324 million people in the
USA, these two candidates are
the best they could come up
with?"). Man, if I ever had that
opportunity, I could think of a
million motorcycle-related things
that would be more interesting/
funny/witty to write about! Yeah,
right. Turns out it isn't as easy as
it looked to me back then.
If you are one of the seven
people still reading this drek
then you have probably surmised
that I was just as full of crap then
as I am right now. Okay, maybe I
wasn't quite as full of crap back
then, but I was certainly naïve
to think that writing a monthly
column was easy. I know what
you are probably thinking: "But
Steve, your columns are always
sooo well written, timely and
thought-provoking, it must come
easy for you." Okay, maybe
that's not exactly what all seven
of you still reading this were
thinking, and I was just trying to
be funny, but let me tell you, pull-
ing a thousand word column out
of my butt every couple of weeks
is not always an easy task.
Here's how it might typically go
down…
I will get a text message, or
email from Kit (our not-at-all-
portly editor) early in the week,
telling me I'm "on-deck," mean-
ing I need to turn in a column on
Monday morning. Barring some
late-breaking event, I've usually
decided what I'm going to write
about before the weekend even
starts, although sometimes I
have to wait for the weekend
race results. Either way it's a
moot point, because as a pro-
crastinator extraordinaire, I often
do not begin actually writing until
Sunday night, and then work into
the wee hours of the morning—
and by "often," I mean always. If
not for a drop-dead Cycle News
deadline of Monday morning,
I would probably milk it even
more. Pathetic, I know.
You would think that I'd have
a list of relevant and interesting
topics next to my bed, or in my
back pocket, all ready to go,
but I don't. So, even though
this column may not be my best
work ever, I wrote a thousand
words about not having anything
to write about and had a few
laughs at myself while doing it.
Now, I think I'd better get to work
on that list or Kit might put in a
pinch-hitter! CN
