Cycle News

VOL. 51 ISSUE 42 OCTOBER 21, 2014 P129 good way to deal with "The Whiner" is by taking preventative measures. Let him know before the ride where you're going, how long it's going to take, how far you plan to go, what kind of pace you plan to have, etc. This way, when the whining begins, you can calmly refer back to earlier when you briefed him on the ride - a figurative "STFU," if you will, that won't further elevate his anxiety. 4. THE LAGGER This is the guy who waits until every- one is all mounted up before he gets out of his chair. It's hard to have pa- tience for this guy. It's further infuriat- ing when he doesn't seem in a hurry at all, even as there are a dozen sets of eyes on him and he is fully aware that the entire group is waiting. The Lagger will leisurely stroll over to his gas can, fill up and then carefully screw the cap all the way back on. Then he will cava- lierly glance about for his helmet, and then remember that he has to find his new registration papers, which are lost in the cab of his truck. Don't be "that guy." I'll admit that sometimes it can be tricky. Perhaps there's no set time for the ride to begin, such as a morn- ing when everyone is moving slowly for various reasons. You may not be sure when you need to be ready, but here's a tip: keep your eye on the "trail boss" of the group. When he stands up and starts tucking in his jersey it's time for you to start do- ing the same. Like a firefighter, you should be at the ready, waiting for the signal to throw on the rest of your gear and get moving. When you're lagging, you're not taking your time; you're taking every- one's time, which is unacceptable. Burning daylight is worse than wast- ing someone's gas – since there's no way to simply re-fuel lost light. For that reason, dealing with the Lagger can be infuriating. The best way to deal with this guy might be with tough love, ala Unprepared Guy. Leave his ass. 5. THE RENEGADE We've all seen this guy out on the track, guaranteed. He's the one speeding through the pits in third gear. This may also be the guy roosting your truck as he blasts out of camp, or the guy running the loud pipe, trying to demonstrate his awesomeness. Sim- ply put, he's the obnoxious jackass. The part where this guy can get the whole group in trouble is by romping off the trail or through closed lands, roosting by other people's camps, generally making noise, kicking up dirt and treading where he shouldn't. Listen, Renegade Guy, we all know what happens when you twist the throttle, and we also know that it doesn't require any skill. No one is impressed at your ability to create noise and dust – so knock it off! Why does he do it? He thinks he's awe- some. Let him know that he's not. 6. THE EGOMANIAC This is the guy who's got something to prove. He's not out to have fun, he's out to teach you two important lessons: A) how cool he is, and B) how cool you are not. And to make his point, he will openly risk hurting others, even possibly risking injury to himself just to make his point. He is also the first to vocalize impatience for slower riders in the group. On that note, let us pause for a brief declaration: Let it be known that slower riders are tolerated! In the name of fun and camaraderie, so long as they are not sinners, let no one have cause for impugning them! If you ride to have fun (and who doesn't?) you won't mesh well with this guy. For him, the ride is not about fun, it's about his dominance over you. Believe me – nothing will suck the enjoyment out of a ride quite like the Egomaniac. The best way to deal with him might be to simply avoid him completely. (By the way, did I ever mention the time I had to Jimmy-rig my bike in St. Lewis?) 7. THE QUITTER The apex of the complainer: "I'm not going up that." "I want to go back." We've likely all been in situations where we had to ride in conditions we didn't expect, maybe because of a wrong turn, getting caught in bad weather, or after dark. But once you're in, you're in. Quitting is not an option! Actually, that sounds like high-school- football-coach talk so let me rephrase that: Quitting is not possible. This is not about your willingness to challenge yourself – it's about logistics. There's no copping out or changing your mind once you're miles from camp. There is no sweep crew coming to get you. One way or another, you will get back the same way you got there – by your own steam. Of course, it's great to challenge yourself to new and tougher terrain, but be smart about where and how you choose to do so. There are plenty of other forms of being annoying, but not neces- sarily a "sinner," such as being the "big talker," the "close follower," or the "flaker." The bottom line is that we all just want to ride and have fun. Don't hold up, endanger or annoy the group, and don't spoil anyone else's fun. Ride and let ride!

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