Cycle News - Archive Issues - 1970's

o M "> g e, M '" Cl M <5. « ~ w Z W ..J U >- U FIANCHETTO by Rod Stickler Reports of the remarks of District 73 Corrip e tf tl o n Coordinator Arno Amanson have been seriously distorted, as this reporter found from an in-depth interview with Mr. Amanson a week ago last Friday evening, To preclude any possibility of error, Amanson was photographed in fu ll-face , profile, and three-quarter views while standing some 12 to 15 feet SSE by S of the right-front comer of the officer's table at the regular District 73 meeting; the photos occupy frames 23 , through 25, inclusive, of a roll of IIford HP4 film with expiration d ate 3/13/74, which is available for inspection , by qualified parties. The very con troversial remarks made by Mr . Amanson were recorded on a dual-track Nagra re corder operating at 15 ips , using an optimum bias current of 60 mamp. Later, t hese tapes were analyzed by myoid friend ' Glenshaw Cherf of the Western Radiometric Laboratories, who was able to make a positive voiceprint indentification of Amanson, _ Content analysis of the remarks was performed by myoid friend Prof.H.E . Tashleen of the University of California Rhetorical Research Facility at Tres Pinos. Despite what you may have heard elsewhere, the facts are these: on the evening in question, Arno Amanson said nothing. ~y Chungo Carmona This column has been absent from its entertammg motorcycle news to the usual slot for the last three wee ks, if residen ts of Northern Canada, Portugal, you've n oticed, - which you probably Besso-Arabia, and Uruguay... all h o tb eds haven't, for we've been out on the road of mo to rcy clin g, recen tly combining . the pleasure of , We were misled by the initial Io n g-distance touring on a sleek, marketing survey, though, in one area. powerful, semi-customized Honda 90 On o n-t h e -sc e n e check of the with the hum-drum business of " WesterviIle, Ohio region showe d that extending at least one tentacle of the there is nobody there who wa nts to Psycho N udes empire into every cranny .Iearn anything about current biking of the literate world. activities, 99% of the p opul a tio n of WesterviIle wants to hear nothing at all It's a bit difficult to carry a about bikes, an d the other 1% already high -sp eed web-offset press on a Honda 90, but well worth the effort. After knows everything there is to know on three weeks effort, we' re happy t o the subject - havin g learned it ' all in report that new editions of PN have 1912 - so our plans for a WesterviIle Edition were scratched. been set up to b rin g quick, accurate. I .StumlJlin'Ar(Jund " Photo taken at D ~73 meeti ng co nclu sively esta blishes t hat the co nt ro versia l Ar no Ama nson was definit ely not prese nt. Where was he? by Monica Harmonica Bikies are just the swellest, neatest, nicest people around , but what has to be said, has to be said, so I'll just have to p ut on the old chain mail an d cli mb up on the old egg-crate again and say this right out, no ma tter how many letters come in. At several recent desert even ts the standard 'o f deportmen t and perso n al neatness seems to be slipping, slipping, slipping. Maybe the men-type riders can get away with a little sloppiness in dress, bu t really girls, a Ms. rider should preserve her feminity even if it takes a little effort. Would you believe that three of the softer sex showed up at the BLM Barb ecue and Cookie-Fry last Sunday with unshined FuIl Bores? I know there's go ing to be a lot of irate mail about 'th is , b u t it's true, and I saw it myself. I won't name names, at least not just now b ut be warned. How are we going to preserve our image if we stum ble around in scruffy sandles? Well, it's time to cli m b back down off the old egg-crate n ow , but I just had to have my say. A sport as good, clean, p ure , and wholesome as motorcycling needs participants who are good, clean, pure, and wholesome, an d it's u p to us girls to set a good, clean, pure, an d wholesome example for all the rest of the mem bers of our happy , wa rm, close, understanding~fa :.:ie :.: :::rm :::s , ::::·l --, f1JND TO TOP IT ALL OFF ' THER£ Wll ~ ,llN01HER MASt< RIO[~ SI-IE w AS po, !"'IEMBER OF iH£ .....OMEN·S "'6 ? Stol en from "Midwest Motorcycle A ct ion " "The Advent ures of Rookie," by Richa;d Hogan fa swell, t horough b izarre series.) , cartoo n Editorial Opinion and Blah, Blah, Buzz, Bm••• ------------ rltt ~ 'P()()'P--------- , from PooPoo Pa-Doo A merica n Ho nda den ies it . Or iental Honda makes inscrut able noises. All the Honda d eale rs back f ro m t he co nve ntion in Rio de Ja neiro have grins o n their faces like egg-sucklng m ules , so our tip mu st be true : t he new 1000c c ro ad b ike w ill ha ve sh aft d rive...t o th e fron t wheel. T he seven cy linder en gine w ill be mounte d lo ngit udi nall y behind t he rea r wh eel . Yam aha , ca n y ou t o p t his? * * * Jackie Who forces with 'rum o ured to print. What's • • • Desert No . 974L is a promising youn g rid er t o keep your eye on. At t he Dese rt Oev il's Latvian Scra mbles last week, 0 1' 973 bo rrowed Poo Poo 's prec ious Wildebeest ATMXRR mag·p uller a nd p romised to retu rn it, b ut nobody kept an ey e on h im, a nd no body's seen hi m since. Oh , well. Even Poo Po o can reo-boo . * Questions You Never Asked by Larry Heller Q. A friend of mine, a school teacher named Bartho lomew , up one day and bought a Harley. At first he rode it to school as he said, "for transportation." Then he began to do crazy things, like wait until the last light in the last house was out at nigh t, then roar down Main Street like a freight train. One of his fun pasttimes became to hide behind old Mrs. Grady's cherry tree , and when she cam e out for a breath of air before retiring, rev up his engine, sending her three feet in th e air. A s I sit writing this, he is standing naked on the seat of his cycle, circling the block and the con stab le is chasing him, How can we set things right? left Team What to join Brand X for a con t rac t exceed seven pages of fine What going to do now? * * Jingoistic easterners say , "We don't care how the hell they do it in California", but the local lads, it seems, h ave lost all their pride, if not their senses , Th e recent SoCal-craze for flying four foxtails on the turn-signal brackets is rumoured to have been .inspired by a 1947 Indian found in an Idaho barn and sh ipped intact to the coast for restoration. Looks like this'll be the most kinky fad since dummy shortwave antennas on BeIl Stars , Hot Bunz! We knew those turn signals 'were good fo r something, • • • tick led his bare foot until he sprung a leak. These things happen , you know, Tell old Mrs. Grady that if she knows he's behind the cherry tree , she could set a b ucket of water on a shaky limb, o r something, And why is the constable chasing Bartholomew aro und the four co rners? Tell him to wait and the cycle will ru n out of gas . There. We've solved your problem! grow, we do n 't think it is any of your bus iness . It is people like you who start wars. Don't write us aga in. The baying wolves, sq uealing jackels, hungry hyenas, and scabrous salamanders slavering for the surpression of cycling have struck again, this time in Montana, where the crows an d magpies of that great state's Legislature have voted out of committee a bill : that would have the effect of prohibiting m o to rcy cle . riding inside the State , Capito l Building during months when the Legislature is in session. 'The situation is n o t unlike that des cribed in the Meditation of Lucius Caius Agrippa (microfiche copies available by mail from the Curator of the Vatican Library), who described much the same events , in the Roman Senate in 312 A.D. We must not accept this outrageous burden ly in g down , as advised by the "Now '·11 just .screw my head around half a Scho onmaker turn and I'll b e \all set:' - Photo . ' m an y maundering minions of maso chism , palpitating purveyors of pusillanimous palliatives, and quix o tic quacks who would q uash our rights , We m ust try to understand the renegades, hidden traito rs, and scabs who demand closure of the Montana State Capitol Building for fully six mon th s of . the year, strike at their weaknesses, and gain a reasonable compromise tolerable to all sides. One reasonable compromise would be to prohibit motorcycle in the Montana C apit o l only d uring those actual hours when the Legis lature is on the floor of its chamber. During off-hours, there is no justification for denying motorcyclists access to the many pleasant riding possibilities within this famous old building, TH IS SPACE RESERV ED FOR YOUR WANT ADS LESS from Das Kapital by Rusty Sanborn Thanks to the flood of mail you directed to the office of Ass emblyman Z'lc h we were able to work out a b e h Ln d t h e s cc n e s c o m p r o m i s e amendment to Z'lch's AB299 that, in its original form, would have cas tra ted the adult male rider of any motorcycle, any tim e, any p la ce, under any circ umst anc es. Z'l ch, responding to public pressure, has agr eed to del ete the word Ucastrate " and to substitute the much less offensive term "sterilize." Progress on the Chapman Bill (AB 1344) ' is not as rapid as we hid hoped for, but co-sp onsors are slowly being gain ed. The Chapman Bill, as described in ' previous co lu mn s, w ould st imulate the e c on omy by fostering the development of a .d o mestle : motor cycl e manufacturing in du stry. Given American mass-production v A. You ..said Bartholomew is a teacher. Maybe one of his stude nts tied him in a chair and Q. Last Christmas this lawyer down the street hung his cycle o ver his door with Christmas lights on it. Isn't that odd? A. If he wants to plant it and see if' it will ~ RCH' l rT • ~, ANr"'~ ARCH1"rS bY~~~; v methods, this requires an increase in the size of the motorcycle market to provide sufficient volume p roduction. AB 1344 would request Washington to remove all tariffs on imported . motorcycle for a period of ten years, beginning in 1974. The loss in federal revenue would be made up by multiplying the import duties on backpacking equipment by a factory of 25, although that estimate is subjec t to revision in the light of additional experience with the program. To support the Chapman Bill, write directly to y our own Assemblyman and State Senator. The outlook is good with en o ugh mail. <, The views e xpressed in t his column and other columns ap pearing on the follo wing pages are".., solely those ,of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official positi o n of Cycl e New s West or C & S Pub lish ing Co . Q ualff ied readers Wishing free and e q ual rebutta l space should co ntact t he Mana ging Editor.

• Cover