Cycle News is a weekly magazine that covers all aspects of motorcycling including Supercross, Motocross and MotoGP as well as new motorcycles
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By GUESt' EDIt'ORIAL RANDY HOLDEN Hasta La Vista CARB?! hen Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected Governor of Califor nia , we decided not to give up entirely on the state of Ca lifornia. After two decades of a seemingly nonstop parade of lefty liberal elected officials and celebrit ies who seemingly despise the cou ntry they live in, this was a refresh ing move . Since we've hung out with Arnold so o ften , striking poses together a nd w ha tno t (sure we did), we kn ew t hat even t ho ugh Arn old was a moderate, he has conservative leanings. Arnold's not a big government kind of guy. He 's also a guy w ho's used to getti ng his way and isn't o ne to back down from an argument if he thinks he's in the right . In short, the big boy from Austria simply ain't "skeered." Th is month, we're absolutely ecsta tic to report that Schwarzenegger assembled a board of ex aminers shortly after his elect ion to find ways to cut California 's budget by eliminating use less, wasteful state-funded projects . Arnold ran his cam paign on the promise of cutting deep into the state's unholy spending deficit , so his first serious efforts in office have bee n to stop the state from hemorrhaging cash it doesn't have . The panel to reduce waste , assembled by Governor Schwarzenegger, has issued its proposals to the governor, proposals that call for the eliminatio n of I 18 state boards and 153 appointees , which will save t he sta te of California $32 billio n over the next five years! Yes, 32 billion! Right close to the to p of th at list of useless boards is t he C aliforn ia Air Resources Bo ar d , better know n as CARB. W ith in a year of taki ng office , Arnold has po inted the magic pen at o ur favo rite band of pain-in-t he-ass env ironme nta list hypocrites and appears rea dy to tell the m they've been te rminated . If you don 't see tha t as good news not o nly for California but also for t he entire co unt ry, t he n you 've go t some screws loose . Th is small band of mo rons has caused the entire country untol d suffering since it was forme d, so we cou ldn't be happie r that this taxpayer-funded assembly of loons may soon be little more than a bad memory. Running back its track re cord, it was CA RB who set into motion t he infamo us zero-emissions vehicle mandate. This was the ruling tha t demanded that a ce rtain percentage of new ve hicles sold in California by new car manufacturers had to emi t no emissions whatsoever o r th ey wouldn't be allowed to sell any new ve hicles in t he state. Of course, there is no such thing as a ze ro -emi ssions vehi cle , so CARB effect ively mandated t hat a utomakers build something t hat wasn't physically possible . Faced w ith th e t rouble so me fact t hat it had mandated somet hing imposs ible to do , t he pe rcentage o f ve hicles to be so ld and t he deadline fo r se lling t hose ve hicles has be en in a constant sta te of change. These changes have be en costly, however, as corporate layers and lobbyists have bee n well paid in their e fforts to convince CARB what it wanted wasn't poss ible . CARB is also responsible for levying fines on Virtually every form of industry currently operating in California , from bakeries to chemical plants. Quite frankly, we wouldn't have been surprised to see it slap a penalty on a corner donut shop for letting the smell of its freshly baked donuts waft out into the street. All t hat wonderful refo rmulated gaso line (RFG) that's been crammed down the throat of all ou r California readers? That was CARB's big idea . With the hel p o f the EPA, CARB is pretty much t he single source nationwi de of all the t rouble everyo ne has had wit h t he crappy substance known as RFG. Had CARB no t raised nine kinds of hell abou t t he re needing to be a clea ne r-burni ng gaso line, t he ind ust ry w o uldn't have had to make reformulated gasoline , which is basically co rn liquo r an d gas mixed toge t he r. Ho w ma ny eng ines and fuel systems have been toas ted by this unhol y mixture will never be known, but from New Jerse y to Alaska , if your city o r country has been fo rced to use RFG, you 've got CA RB to thank. T he damage CARB has do ne to California's economy in terms of det e rring businesses fro m locating there is beyond measure. Very few ma nufacturing jobs have co me into California in the better part of a decade, wh ile sco res of com pan ies have moved t heir assembly lines o ut of the sta te rather than dealing with CA RB's ever-increasing stringent standards. What businesses in the world would relish the though of moving into a place where t hey'd be su bject to random searches , tougher environmental ru les than they woul d face in any other sta te in the un ion, then be slammed with st iff fines fo r the slightest infraction of the ever-changing rules? T here are a lot of e mpty warehouses and facto ries scattered all over Sout hern California. W hile it would be unfair to blame the demi se of these facilities entirely on CARB, it certa inly played a large part in t he do w nfall of these companies. Ever since we first began kee ping an eye o n CARB, we've been impressed with its seeming "We 're CARB, don 't dare question us, just do what we say o r e lse" attitude. If there were ever a group that apparently thought it had taken on a god -like identity, it has been the board members of CARB. Faced time and time again with facts that flew in the face of the rules and regu lations it sought to put into practice, CARB has igno red logic completely time after time, gros sly overestimating its importance in the world . It has taken the election of 5chwarzenegger to finally train a fire hose in this o ut-of-control, power-mad group. As o f this wnnng, Go verno r Schwarzenegger has had a loo k at his pane l's recommenda tions and agrees t hat CA RB is about as use ful as tits on a bull. N aturally, CARB is protesting its impending demise, citing all the w o nderful th ings it has done to improve the health of California's re side nts (interest ingly en ou gh, citing its own st ud ie s and figure s). You've gotta adm it, that's pretty weak in itse lf. Imagine you were about to be ca nne d fr o m yo ur jo b. In your de fen se, you said, " No, no , check o ut this chart of how much good I've done for the company, but it's a chart I made mys e lf." Automotive News so ught to inte rview CARB mem bers about t he ir posi tion on t he ir impending doo m, but no one at CARB w ou ld re turn a phone call. Go figure. Allow us to state for t he rec ord, by no stretch of the imaginat io n can www.cyclenews .com Schwarzenegger be considered a hardcore co nservative, wh ich makes this news even more inte re sting. Arno ld's a textbook e xam ple of a moderate on pol itical matters. What's more surprising is that Arnold is somewhat of a nature bo y. He enjoys the ou tdoors quite a bit, so he 's no t o ne "evil" of t ho se Repu blicans o ut to po ison all t he water and cu t down all the tr ees. Wha t we have here is a practical guy wh o realizes that nature, mankind and th e fre e ma rket ec o nomy have to co exist . CARB has neve r em braced that ph ilosophy, t hus it appears head ed for an abrupt en d. Ne ve r fear though, we'r e sure the CARB bo ys and girls can move east to Massach usett s and set up sho p there, but they 'll just have to change their name - MARB doesn't have much of a ring to it. We say a hardy "t hank you " fo r doing aw ay w ith th is ridiculo us waste of time and money. We're certain the tax money th at has been funne led into CARB could be put to much better use . We 'd like to say we 'll miss you , CARB, as we have had a lot of fun bashing your stu pidity, but we're certain there wi ll never cease to be similar organizations coast to coast that will be capable of being just as dum b and troublesome. Keep on te rminating, Arnold - we're right in t he re cheering for ya'. Now if you can o nly do something abo ut t he courts system out the re, th e illegal immigra nts and Berkeley, you'll reall y have us blow n away! Randy Holden is the feature editor of Mopar Coll e cto r's Guide . a mo nthly automotive enthusiast publication. Holden a uthors a column k nown as EnviroMasochism in altho ugh mos t that magazine, and of his work has a decidedly automo tive slant . we tho ught our readers would be interested in his November colum n. and we obtaine d perm ission for its use . For more informa tion on Mopar Collector 's Guide, check aut its webs ite at www.moparcol/eetorsguide.cam ... Editar CYCLE NEWS • NO VEMBER 17, 2004 87