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tank when terra firma halted my forward progress with swift and frightful violence - my left nut still throbs occasionally just thinking about it. A big confidence booster this year came in the form of a new motorcycle, my, uh, sponsor Scott Schnabel having upgraded me from a pitifully underpowered '92 Honda CR250 to a spartan '96 model, you know, "the one that everyone wan~s because it was the last steel-framed CR Honda made." Well, I will say this, at least it felt more like a modern CR than a '73 Elsinore, which the '92 probably could not have beaten to the first turn in any race. So, I watched my pal Johnny Weiss make a good pass up the hill by using a left-side approach, which netted him a time of 12.19 seconds, which would .stand as the time to shoot at for quite a while. I gave it a good try, revving up and rolling smoothly over both kickers before dropping the hammer and feathering the clutch as I skipped over the hidden ruts and bumps on the grassy face of the long chute. I figured it was going to be a good run, except that I wheelied over the top, which forced me to back off and reset myself for the charge to the finish eyes some 40 feet away from the crest. I clocked in at a 12.38, which wasn't that bad, but not the leading time. Then Weiss and I sat down below and watched as others took their turns, many of whom were involved in the kind of spectacular crashes for which hillclimbing is well known. In their own way, they gave the fans just as much to cheer about. Both Tom Kuphal of Hartford and Dan Nayer of Campbellsport dipped into the 1 1s, dropping me off the podium. Then AMA dirt tracker and WERA road racer Jesse Janisch, 15, of Campbellsport rolled into the starting box. The defending class champion, Janisch had won last year, we argued then, because he weighed all of 58 pounds or so. By this year's hillclimb, the boy had filled out into a young man, weighing a stocky 150. That ought to have done it, but Janisch showed that there was a better reason he beat us when he ripped (Above) The antique machines are fun to watch. Gary Oakford went 170 feet aboard his handshift factory Indian hillclimber, finishing third in class. (Right, below) Kirk Mueller and Scott Schnabel (33) battled for the 600cc Pro class honors. Mueller got the win with a brilliant second-round ride. off a bullet-fast 10.47 to take the win this year. That time was only a couple of tenths off what he had posted to win last year's event, back when he was a wimp (Heh, heh, I probably shouldn't be saying that now that he's starting to grow muscles), and it would turn out to be the secondfastest stock time of the day. For Janisch, who has aspirations of becoming a National-level road racer, it was all in good fun, and he summed up the KMS Hillclimb quite nicely. "This is always cool because there's no pressure," Janisch said. "You get to hang out with your friends and screw around. It's fun to see the different bikes that people have. It's just a lot of fun." Point taken, though I must admit that I did enjoy it even more after I snuck away with two fifth-place finishes - and first foreigner - in each of the Stock classes; My 12:38 on the 250 was good enough for fifth, and I had made a single run of 13.26 on one of J.R. Schnabel's old Honda 450 dirt-trackers in the the 600cc Pro machinesl Next to Toby Mueller's, it was probably the gnarliest run of the day. I still failed to accomplish my main goal of clearing the hill twice in the same class, however. Once again, I screwed up my second 250cc run by overshooting the second kicker. I was more prepared for it this time - hey, who wouldn't be and I was able to ward off the dreaded vice-like sudden impact of flesh to plastic, but the screw-up was sufficient to kill my momentum, and I bailed off at around 196 feet. So I have to come back, I suppose, and next year's date is already on my calendar. Scott Schnabel and I have completed negotiations that should see me aboard another one of his bikes in 2004. I can't really discuss the terms of that agreement, but if you must know, ask yourself this: How many other second-placed guys do you see a photo of in this story? And so it will be that a long night will be followed by a long drive to make it to the Kettle Moraine Sportriders 21 st annual Hillclimb. Only this time, Schnabel can do the damn driving. Come to think of it, I don't really even need to go to St. Louis, do I... eN Sunburst Ski Area West Bend, Wisconsin Results: June 15, 2003 Jim Heilman was the ace of the Stock classes, turning a 9.36 to win the 600cc Stock trophy. 250 STOCK: I. Jesse Janisch (Han): 2. Tom Kuphal (Han): 3. Dan Nayer: 4. John Weiss; 5. Scott Rousseau (Han). 600 STOCK: 1. Jim Heilman (Yam); 2. Daniel Mayer; 3. Jesse Janisch (Yam): 4. Mike Wiedmeyer (Yam): 5. Scott Rousseau (Han). OPEN STOCK: I. Mike Dricken (Tri): 2. Sam lindars (Kaw); 3. John Dricken (Tri): 4. Pat Murre (Suz): 5. Mike Wiedmeyer (Han). 205 PRO: 1. Kirk Mueller (Kaw); 2. Paul Buettner (Han); 3. Jeff Piontek (Kaw); 4. Josh Mueller (Kaw); 5. Mike Bronk (Yam). 600 PRO; 1. Kirk Mueller (Hon); 2. Scott Schnabel (Kaw); 3. Daniel Vrana (Hon); 4. Tom Boerger (Hon); 5. Toby Mueller (Kaw). OPEN PRO, 1. Toby Mueller (H-D); 2. Tom Boerger (H-D); 3. Kirk Mueller (Kaw); 4. Mike Bronk (Yam); 5. Gary Brost (H-D). ANTIQUE: 1. Billy Vrana (AJS); 2. Eric Mischler ITri); 3. Gary Oakford (Ind); 4. Dan Vrana (R-E). 600cc class, and it was apparently good enough to net a fifth there as well. Former three-time winner Jim Heilman of West Bend was the absolute man to beat in the 600cc Stock class, though. He went for the jump off the second kicker and made it work, as he slashed his way to a 9.36, which would have been good enough for fifth place against eye I e n e _ OS; • JULY 16, 2003 33