Cycle News - Archive Issues - 2000's

Cycle News 2003 03 12

Cycle News is a weekly magazine that covers all aspects of motorcycling including Supercross, Motocross and MotoGP as well as new motorcycles

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30 YEARS AGO.•• MARCH 20, 1973 Issue ill 0 was our Daytona issue, and Jarno Saarinen (Yam) made the cover based on his winning of the Daytona 200. Kel Carruthers (Yam) finished second, while Jim Evans completed the Yamaha sweep for third ... We tested the new Yamaha SC-500 motocrosser, which reportedly had the world's largest motorcycle piston at the time. We concluded that it was earth-moving. It retailed for $1225... Mitch Mayes won the District 37 desert race held at Red Mountain aboard his Husky 450. He was the first Open-class rider to win the overall all year. Tom Brooks (DKW) finished second overall ... Dave Aldana won the Daytona Short Track on Friday night, while Mike Kidd won Saturday's race... Dub FerreU won the Daytona Speedway race in Ormond Beach. 20 YEARS AGO... MARCH 23, 1983 Kenny Roberts (Yam) graced the cover of Issue #10 after his total annihilation of the Daytona 200. He had an unplanned pit stop early in the race, but he still came back to win. Eddie Lawson (Yam) and Steve Wise (Hon) rounded out the top three. Roberts also set a new record for average speed in the event at 110.926 mph... Freddie Spencer beat his Honda teammate Mike Baldwin to the line to win the Bell Superbike 100 at Daytona. Both riders were aboard new Honda V4s and dominated the event... Jay Springsteen won the Battle of the Twins road· race event at Daytona aboard his factory Harley-Davidson... Bob Hannah won the 12-lap Daytona Supercross, beating Honda teammates Johnny O'Mara and David Bailey, who rounded out the top three ... Brad Lackey and "CHiPs' star Larry Wilcox posed together in matching Wilcox riding gear - MX gear that Wilcox was bringing to the market. D o you know what constitutes vices Group, a Tallahassee consulting 34 percent of a buttock or 26 firm who performed a study for Day- much of it makes up 33 percent? percent of a woman's breast? If so, tona Beach. According to Bozzo's Does the marbled flesh mound of cellulite count? Hard enough to figure you may have a future in law enforce· report, Sheets "agrees with the cham- ment. That's because the Daytona ber study that special events bring when you're standing in the privacy Beach City Commission, that august enormous financial benefits to the of your kitchen, let alone when your group of mouth-breathing brain local economy." donors, passed a law in October local constable has to make the judg- Sheets asked, "Are these special Vance (, Hines Yamaha's Eddie lawYelLE NBWS son beat Scott RusseU (Kaw) to the line in the Daytona 200, and for '~ that he was granted the cover of Issue # 10. Jimmy Adamo was killed in a sixth-lap crash during the event. Miguel DuHamel (Kaw), Aaron Slight (Kaw) and Doug Polen (Due) rounded out the top five... Mike Kiedrowski (Kaw) chased down series leader Jeremy McGrath (Hon) to win his nrst-ever supercross at Daytona. Damon Bradshaw (Yam), Jeff Stanton (Hon) and Brian Swink (Suz) rounded out the top five. Doug Henry (Hon) won the 125cc main, followed by Ezra Lusk (Suz) and Tun Ferry (Yam)... Dan Ingram (Hon) won the Daytona Short Track, followed by Terry Poovey (Rot) and Rich King (Rot) ... Miguel DuHamel (Kaw) won the 600cc Supersport event for the second year in a row. ~ J- - ment on the fly. mandating people cover one-third of events good for Daytona Beach? It's not bad enough that the fine the buttocks - it doesn't specify if That's almost a foolish question. You men and women of the Daytona that's both buttocks, just the left or can't separate events and Daytona just the right - and one-quarter of a Beach. If you take special events woman's breast. Break the skin law, away, you don't have Daytona and you could find the 15-inch-long Beach. To me, the issue is how the eagle-embossed wallet chained to city, with the help of major benefac- your leather chaps lightened by Beach Police Department have to battle the threat of terrorism, anthrax, dirty bombs and cybercrime, now they have to worry about partial buttocks exposure. tors of special events, joins together $106. to meet this financial challenge." The bigger issue, bigger than Measuring the surface area of a rounded object isn't as easy as you'd How are they going to balance the butts, bigger than boobs, bigger than think. Quite the opposite. To do it budget? On the skin of your ass, the boobs who run the city, is why the that's how. with any accuracy, you'll either need city of Daytona Beach seems so In addition to the buttocks and to know the formula for calculating intent on treating Bike Weekers like breast infractions, there are other surface area or buy the Uniscan used diapers. According to Mark fines. Failing to have a muffler on OSP100A 3D Non·Contact Surface Soskin, an economics professor from your exhaust pipes provides another Measurement· Profiling System. It the University of South Florida who, $ 106 to the math scholars who run can perform noncontact component at the behest of the local chamber of the city. Carrying an open alcoholic measurement and profiling of skin, commerce, performed a study on the beverage in public will fatten the city leather (important) and any other economic impact of special events, coffers by $53. Not having your application that requires fast, large Bike Week and Biketoberfest gener- headlights on, which is different from area, high accuracy, noncontact height measurement. That gadget ate about $600 million for the local not covering one-quarter of a breast, economy. Soskin's study found that is a $44 fine, as is failure to use eye you think you saw on the passenger during their two annual protection. So if you're not wearing seat of the DBPD cruiser, that wasn't visits, NASCAR devotees contribute a total goggles ($44) while trolling Main a Uniscan asp1OOA. It won't fit. That of $461 million. His findings were Street on your Fat Boy with open white box with purple and orange let- reported on Central Florida Channel pipes ($106) and the headlight off tering, that was the Dunkin Donuts 13, who did their own report on the ($44). and you're wearing a thong Circular Fat, Calorie, Cholesterol, economic impact of the half a million ($106) and pasties ($106), you could Jelly, Cream and Sprinkle Replenishment System. generally law-abiding citizens who be docked a sum equal to more than come to Daytona Beach for Bike the cost of a Heritage Softail replace- Week. In addition to the big numbers, ment mirror. I can imagine the following conversation taking place some time this Channel 13 reported that bikers are Where to start? With the buttock, better tippers. Except the French, of of course. I think we can all agree course. where a woman's breast begins. The Soskin was quoted in a recent arti- 10 YEARS AGO••• MARCH 17, 1993 end and the buttock begin? And how ( female buttock is a shard of political penned by John Bozzo, as saying, correctness as transparent as a cello- "The benefits far, far exceed the costs phane bra. Anyone who's been to according to our study, but those Main Street or on Daytona Beach will costs are not trivial." stopped you?" (That the law doesn't specify male or nal "Ma'am. Do you know why I buttock is another animal altogether. cle in the Daytona Beach News-Jour- week. tell you that the last thing they want "You're lonely, desperate and horny, and this is the only way you could possibly meet chicks?" "No ma'am. I'm afraid it's your buttocks." "My buttocks are spectacular." to see is your average beer-engorged, "Yes ma'am. I couldn't agree who run the city fail to understand ribs-filled, shock-busting Harley rider more. But the law says you have to is that without big events like in a thong. Give me a minute while I cover 33 percent of the buttock." Bike Week, Speed Weeks and spring wash my brain out with soap.) What the lip-drooling quadrupeds "I can assure you my buttocks are break, the appeal of Daytona Beach It's the female buttock that needs 34-percent covered. Before I left the as a vacation destination falls some- to be handled. In order to follow house, I made the measurement where between Chechnya and Kabul. along, you might want to strip to your myself with a Uniscan OSP100A." Under the Taliban. scants and stand in front of a mirror. "I see." Bozzo also interviewed Roberts Follow the contour of your buttock "Anything else you'd like to say?" Sheets, president of Government Ser- with your hand. Where does the thigh "Care for a doughnut?" Daytona 200 Daytona SUpercross Daytona Short Track GICC Opener AllIgator Enduro cue I _ n _ _ so • MARCH 12,2003 95

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