Cycle News is a weekly magazine that covers all aspects of motorcycling including Supercross, Motocross and MotoGP as well as new motorcycles
Issue link: https://magazine.cyclenews.com/i/128088
\I in Britain and viewed with such great distaste that I wonder why we bother sometimes. The West Coast of America doesn't exactly welcome the double 'Ton-up' brigade with open arms either from what I've seen. It's fair to say that serious speeding and bi-wheeled deviancy is met with open cell doors, and it would appear that the'best way to stay out of trouble here is to stay out of Dodge. Drive up a mountain or into a desert for a couple of hours and the law of averages is firmly in your favor. Not exactly an ideal solution, plus I hear that your pursuit helicopters are pretty fast - in Europe they can barely reach 160 mph, which makes out runnin' 'em a little boring. I must admit though, I wouldn't fancy Roy Scheider undressing me with his X-ray goggles whilst in hot pursuit at 200 mph, raggin' the tits off 'Blue Thunder.' Legally speaking, the grass is greener in neither of our fair countries. Certainly, whenever we used to feel the need for speed and my crew wanted to cause trouble, we'd be straight over the English Channel and into France - the real 'Playa's Playground', and somewhere the hardcore amongst you ought to think about spending some quality time. Seriously. It's a different life redlining your Hayabusa in top gear for mile upon mile whilst apexing four lines of Froggy Freeway at 180 mph plus, with your knee on the deck! Do you feel me? As I said to Jimmy Moore, who was barely two and a half minutes a lap faster than me during the 24 hour: "If there'd been cars comin' the other way at Wil10w,I can guarantee that I'd have had the fastest lap times!" And I meant it. Usten up dogs, you have to imagine only ever having swum in a perfectly maintained, Olympic-sized swimming pool and never to have known the succulent kiss of sparkling, tropical waters because of an irrational fear of sharks; or only ever pounding the rubber mat of a running machine down at the local gym for kicks and never savoring the dawn delights of a beautiful, misty mountain vista because you're frightened of being murdered by a stranger. Sure, the danger is there - but isn't that why we play? In Europe we love to ride on the street. Of course that's partly because we have such a rich culture of road racing that goes way back to the tum of the century - then again, maybe we're just scandalous... Some of the best riders on the road actually have a lot of issues that they should probably go home and think very hard about. Trouble is, you boyz don't 'represent' on the street. You only seem to get jiggy with your bad selves on the racetrack, and that's a shame. The racetrack is like a cardboard cutout compared to the real world - at best it's Jhaassuup. My name is 'Jimarillo.' VV Otherwise known as 'The Undisco Kidd.' Occasionally misheard, often misquoted, consistently misrepresented and always misbehaving. Unfortunately I am unable to perform my sworn journalistic responsibilities for my indigenous peoples thanks to some rather nasty charges of mechanical indecency back in my own country (an unmitigated pile of cobblers bobbing in the North Sea most commonly known as the United Kingdom). My crime? Enjoying the bountiful virtues of today's super-fast, techno miracle, muscle-machines. This, in Britain, is tantamount to treason. The penalty? Being tied to a wooden ducking stool and submersed in the river Thames. If one dies, innocence will have been proven and thus, all charges are dropped forthwith - if however one survives, guilt will have been proven and consequently one must be sentenced to death immediately. So, thanks to my good friends here in the US of A, I find myself able to initiate an aperture for my monthly outpourings - right here in your very own Cycle News. Up until recently I have been staying in the extraordinary, surgically enhanced bosom of 'Silly-Cone Valley' where all does not appear correct to this immorally ostracized Englishman. Motorcycles don't seem to be an accepted form of transportation, much more an enjoyable, if risky pastime and I, for one, have no idea why that might be... Indian Motorcycles has a big showroom on Ventura Boulevard and you see the odd Harley but the only lithe Japanese or exotic Latins you're likely to see are in the classy 'Titty bars' on Sunset Strip. Actually, I have seen a few 'rice burners' out here and I heard a Ducati, er, once. I think. Compare this to Blighty where you can barely breathe for the Termignoni fumes of excitable advertising execs and big city Dicks, swinging incompetently through the grid-locked, urban melee that is London. You guys ride for fun, and it seems so natural to the American way of life that I honestly believe even Britney Spears would leap an apartment building on a well-tweaked CR250, if asked politely. One thing, however, is quite clear, England has no tolerance for the individual and certainly doesn't welcome self-expression through the mindless abuse of machinery - hence some very exciting videos I performed in being held under lock and key by Customs and Excise in warehouses up and down the coast, stacked alongside crates bulging with Swedish 'Donkey Porn.' Basically, riding a motorcycle is seen as an overtly subversive pastime • Oklahoma NatiDnal ArenacfDSS (DIm JANUARY 24,2001 • cue I • ~ n _ e It should be pointed out that the opinions, ideas and events portrayed herein are not necessarily shared by the staff of Cycle News, their famities, friends or for that matter, myself or indeed anyone I may know or have ever actually met - ever, etc. • Anaheim SUpercross Part II Coming up In Cycle News 80 just 50 percent of the real riding experience. One of the best examples of a bomand-bred street racer is Aprilia's Jeremy McWilliams. Now here's a guy who had no qualms about grinding the undercarriage of a 916 to atoms and battering fairings down the Auto-route de Soleil with me and the boyz whilst in the middle of his inaugural 500 GP season. Why? 'Cos he's a bit of a geezer. Get down to the South near Cannes, St Tropez and the like - you'll begin to appreciate that Utopia wasn't just a figment of some hairy philosopher's imagination. This is about as perfect a territory as you can find anywhere to indulge in wanton, two-wheeled terrorism. Drink in the European f1ava. Imagine you're a Californian eating at a restaurant. That's right, no gentleman's excuse me, no P's or Q's - translate it to the machine, flick us all your best one-fingered salute - we love it! Ric1ure yourself lobbin' one up down the Croisette at 9(} mph in second whilst frantically pwarping your hom at a handy group of impressionable, young, tantalizingly breathless French maidens with very little clothing on. That's what I'm talking about. Try taking us out on a blind coastal bend at 110 mph, wearing nothing but your flip-flops, underpants, and a pair of Cutler & Gross Aviators. Now you're jammin' - and that's what I'm talking about. You see, the French may be frighteningly Nationalistic and stink of onions, but in the South they just love the life and believe me, they live the life they love. Ask a Gendarme whether his BMW pulls whee lies and he'll mumble, embarrassed, into his cap something about it being too heavy and not powerful enough. Word. In fact it is not unusual to see Babylon swigging from hip flasks and puffing on Marlboro Ugiers whilst thrashing the knackers off their l.3-liter Citroens through the stupifyingly quaint, coastal Riviera towns. If you do one thing in 2Gl, make a European vacation your goal. Go crazy out there. Drink a glass of passable Chardonnay. Smoke a cigarette. Eat some real food. Ride ludicrously fast because you can. Pull a wheelie. Throw your bike down the road for no apparent reason and laugh it's aaaarrrrll goooooooooood! CN Laters. so • We Ride Alex CrlrIlle's Reps'" HDnda NSR500 30 YEARS AGO••• FEBRUARY 2, 1971 An iUustration of New York City being circled, clockwise, by racing motorcycles adorned the cover of Issue #3 to honor the first motorcycle race to be held within New York City limits since World War II. The race was held in Madison Square Garden, where the riders raced on an indoor short track, in a co unter- cl oc k wi se direction. AI Kenyon (Bul) took the victory, and the $2750 that went with it... We tested the J 97 J Norton Commando Fastback. We got the $1500 machine up to an indicated 115 mph and reported that vibration was nonexistent over 3000 rpm and the bike seemed happiest cruising between 80 and 85 mph ... Rex Staten rode his Ossa to the win in the 250cc Senior class at a Deadman's Point motocross event, while Danny LaPorte (Ric) did likewise in the 100cc Junior class at Saddleback Park... The AMA announced that the 1978 Olympic Commission would consider including a motorcycle competition in the games and that the FIM was preparing the proposal to be presented. 20 YEARS AGO... JANUARY 2B, 19B1 Brad lackey raced across the cover of Issue #3 aboard his Suzuki on his way to fifth overall at round three of the CMC DG Golden State Nationals in Fremont, Califomia. Broc Glover (Yam) rode to four perfect motos in the 250 and 500cc Pro classes, while Scott Burnworth swept the 125cc Pro class on his Yamaha. George Holland (Suz) and Micky Dymond (Yam) finished 10th and 13th overaU in the 125cc Pro class, respectively ... We interviewed World Championship Road Race runner-up Randy Mamola about his slim loss to Kenny Roberts in the 1980 championship and where he needed to improve to be able to beat Roberts in the '81 season. Mamola's feeling was that Suzuki handed the title to Yamaha, and Roberts, With all of the problems they had in 1980 with faster machinery... Eddie Hicks won the 60Cc Expert class at the Golden State Madera MX in Madera, California. Hicks also won the Mini Intermediate (9-11) Modified class, ahead of Willie Surratt. Mike Healey won the Mini Intermediate (12-16) Modified class. 10 YEARS AGO.•. JANUARY 3D. 1991 The first of the French Invasion graced the cover of Issue #3. Jean-Michel Bayle won the Houston Supercross in convincing fashion, making it look easy as only he could. After placing second in the first round, Bayle left round two with the points lead. Jeff Matiasevich (Kaw) and Damon Bradshaw (Yam) rounded out the podium. The 125cc class was won by Team Suzuki's Tallon Vohland, who took over the 125cc Eastern Regional Supercross points lead with his win over West Coast rider Jeremy McGrath and older brother Tyson Vohland, who finished second and third, respectively... Steve Lamson (Hon) dominated round three of the CMC Golden State Nationals by winning all four motos he competed in in the 125 and 250cc Pro classes. Team KTM's Mike Healey won the 500cc Pro class... Donny Schmit (Suz), Phil Lawrence (Kaw) and Greg Z1tterkopf (Hon) won the 125, 250 and 5QOcc Pro classes at round three of the GF! California Winter Series at Perris Raceway... Ezra Lusk (Suz) raced to the victory in the 125cc Youth and 125cc A classes at the Orlando Amateur Supercross.