Cycle News - Archive Issues - 1990's

CHICANERY BYHENNY RAYABRAMS f we learned an ythi ng from the recent fiasco a t th e Jol iet A MA Su per b ike Nationa l, it' s th at whoever approved th e track is d opier than a Gobert urine sample (pre-reha b). The place wasn' t safe enough for a demolition d erby, let alone a road race Nation a l, an d anyone who thinks o therwise is wackier than the road race poi nts system. (What mu st be said u p front is that the promoter of Joliet should no t be held to bl a m e . No o ne to ld him tha t you cou ld n't pu t th e sta rt-fi nis h line in the mi dd le of a concre te- line d , fourth-g ear kink . You'd hav e thou gh t so meone at the AMA m ight have mentioned it to him, bu t they were busy collecting the smoke an d mirrors they'd brought in to try to make the place appear race-w ort hy.) But w ith every dark cloud» and- this one follo we d all the teams from Brai nerd , Minnesota, and mad e them sit o n their ha nds for mo st of a week in Joliet, runn ing up hot el, res taura nt, and payper-view m o v ie tabs, not to mention exorbitant gambling debts at the riverboat blackjack table, where ca lculators aren' t allow ed - ther e is a silver lin ing, and the sil ve r lining in' th is d eb acle is that I reali zed that anyone ca n p romot e a road race. It tu rns o ut that all yo u need to get a r o a d ra ce National is a piece of unu sed la nd near a big city . Witness ' th e recent additi ons to the calendar: Pikes Pea k, Las Vegas, Road A tla nta, an d Jolie t. Tha t way, w hen yo u ca nce l th e thing - becau se 90 percent of th e co rners have less ru noff than a bo w ling alley, th e drag stri p is covered in trac tion com p ound th at ge ts slicker than a presid ent when it's we t, and the en tra nce to the dra g s trip is ti g h ter th an (tak e your p ick) Thoma s Ste vens, Te rry Vance or Rob Mu zzy - yo u can fo re ver p is s o ff a n d a lien a te a mu ch la rger g ro u p of d is gruntl ed ex - fans th a n vou co u ld in a small market. It's sound logic: M a xim iz e your di s a p pointmen t. I I found a spot of unused land and I have a phone. Tim e to promote. Since all of the AM A motocross and dirt tr ack sched u les have already bee n set, I knew I had to work fast. After all, the road race calendar w ill probably be an nou nce d w it hin mon th s. 50 I called th e AMA 's d epa rtment of race-tra ck approval. Turns ou t my timing wasn't great. Moe was ou t at lunch , Larry was a t the d octor after getting po ked in the eye, and Curly wa s ge tting a bu zz cut. Well d ow n th e food cha in, I wa s passed on to Ro n Vandermerrill, the AMA' s Associate Sub-Supervisor For Aspha lt Calamities. I bega n by sayi ng th at I'd fo u nd a piece of la n d in Eyeb row, Sas katchewan, w he re I was thinking of promo ting a road race. "What I wanted to know was ...." " Is it near a bi g city?" th e effervescent Ron as ked befo re I could finis h m y sentence. "Well, it's about 30 miles from Moose -jaw ." "Close enough. W hat da te do you wa nt?" " Are n't yo u goi ng to ask abo u t th e facility?" " Di d n 't I as k if it was n ear a b ig dtv?" -"Yeah." , "Is it?" " Well , it 's a bout 80 mil e s fro m Assi nibo ia." "Close eno ug h. Now let' s talk d at e." " Before we get started, I think I feel I ha ve a n o blig ation to te ll yo u tha t th e land w as recently reclaimed after bein g sealed for o ve r 30 vears as a nuclear wa ste dump." "Does it have a d rag strip?" "It's mostl y barren was teland wit h a few ruste d backh oes a nd so me ei g ht headed frogs." "Can yo u put a drag strip on it?" "I could put all of Delawar e on it." "Because we need a d rag strip." "Why's tha t?" YEARS AGO... CTOBER 1 1968 0, F red d y Nix (H- D) held off Mert Lawwill (H -D) to w in the Sacrame nto Mile and thus became the first rider to win all four mile-t rackraces in a single seaon. Dan Haaby (H- D) was third. Gary Nixon (Tri) wa s fourth, preserving his series points lead ... In Cycle News' "Meet th e cyclis t" section, we introd uced yo u to m otorycle-shop owner and safety ad voca te John Wiley... In ur coverage of th e 1968 Pine Cone To ur m ot orcycle n, we showe d yo u a picture of actor Norm Grabows.,s rad ical, Corvair-p owered moto rcycle... Steve Staats Bul) won the Antelope Ramblers MC Hare & Hound , in is hin g a head of Husqvarna-mou nt ed ri ders Gary onrad and Rich Thorwaldson .; We tested th e new ullaco Lobito 100cc scra m b le r a n d ga ve it h igh arks... Rick Woods w as bei ng tou ted as speedw ay's tew hero , as he pic ked up w ins at Wh iteman Stadiu m . oYEARS AGO... EPTEMBER 27,1 978 he USA was looking mig hty fine at the 1978 International Six Da ys Tria l, as A merican rid ers rack ed u p s~ me 27 g o ld medal s in th e co mpe titio n . zechoslovakia w on th e te a m tro p hy ... Before th ere vas The Su perbike rs, th ere was th e Subaru Motorcycle Iympiad , w hic h p itted m ot orcycl e racers fro m all orms of the sport against one another in a series of ven ts to d etermine the bes t all-arou nd rider. Bob H an ah (Yam) wo n the title, followed by Jim We inert Kaw ) and John Hateley (Mail ... We went to "Rap with e C ha mp," Wor ld SOOcc Road Race Champion Ke nny oberts ... St eve M or ehead (H -D) be at Bill y Schaeffer H-D) a nd Hank Scott to the' fin is h line to wi n the " Bracke t ra cing." " I' m loo king to promote a road race." "B u t h o w d o yo u fil l th e tim e betw een r a ces ? No t a nothe r w heelie wei rdo. Bracket ra cing ! Anyon e who rid es to the tra ck gets to race. We' ll have Va lkyries agai ns t Valkyri es, In tru ders vs. Int ru ders; Fat Boys agains t Fat Gi rls. We'll have two classes - gas and-alcohol. " . " But st reet bikes d on' t ru n on alcoho l." " W ho's talk i ng a bou t th e s t ree t bik es? It'll be a class fo r rid ers w ho ' ve had five or mo re brewsk ies. We' ll uri netest the winner to make sure he' s not sober." "Isn't that unsa fe?" "No, we' ll ma ke sure he has a bi g.eno ugh contai ner so he d oesn 't ge t any on his shoes." " Isn' t allowing d ru nks to drag- race unsafe?" . "Descri be unsa fe." "U nsafe would be a condition w hich • could co nceivab ly ca use ha rm to the part icip ants." "They' re d runk, they wo n't feel any th ing . Besides, didn ' t yo u say Sm u ts was 110 miles away?" " I didn't, bu t it is." "I'm s u re th ey ' v e go t a h o sp it al there," "Ca n I show yo u the layou t?" "It's pretty strai g htforward : a quarter m ile, dead s tra ig h t and le vel, a sho rt uphill, the n sand ." "For the road course." "Oh." "This is the tentati ve layout , pending yo u r a pproval." " Loo ks good to m e. Do yo u want a dat e before or after Daytona?" " We' re gett ing a head of o u rselves . You see these? I've d ra wn the ru no ff areas. Th ey're ma rked by wa ves, indicating raked gravel tra ps." "G ravel? Grav el never slow ed a bike dow n. It just tea rs the m u p . No, we at the Road Race Track-Approval Commit- .".' t~ ~~irimissi~ ed a blue-ribbOn pan el of n' experts to d o an extensive stu dy on the p roper material fo r runoffs and, a fter m onths of ex ha ustive research , and a n o t in consid erab le ex pend it u re, th ey came to the conclusion tha t ther e's only one su bstance which can effecti vely stop a mot o rcycle , w it ho u t d oing it , or th e rider , any damage, and is environmentally frie nd ly." "A nd tha t woul d be...?" "Mashed pota toes." "Mas hed potatoes?" "I s t h ere a n e cho in h er e ? Yes, mash ed potat oes ." "Why mash ed potatoes ?" "Wj;11, we co nsidere d fre nch fries, but we'd have needed a grease frye r the size of the Astrod ome. And, besid es, w e thi nk there a re sig nifica n t m a r ketin g oppor tunities in mashed potatoes. Each comer w ill be spo nso red by a d iffer ent com pa ny. We'll have th e Id aho Sp uds Esses , the H ungry Jack Ha irp in , the Kroger Kink ." "So if a rid er tells me, 'Dude, I we nt in to Betty Croc ker so d eep I th ou ght I'd ne ver ge t out: it means he ove rs ho t the corner?" " Does Be tty C roc ke r mak e mashed potatoes?" "I think so." "Probably. How long's th e track?" "About four mil es." "So u n d lik e you' ll n eed a he ap 0' tat ers. Let m e d o the math, Hmrn, tha t would be 400,000 pounds of spuds." " Do yo u ha ve a ny idea w here yo u can get that many potatoes? " "Is the track near a big city?' "C limax is about 150 mil es away." "Can' t wa it to ge t th ere." "So I've hear d ." (The au thor w ould lik e to acknowledge the governmen t of the Can adian prov in ce o f Sas ka tche w a n fo r thei r invaluable h elp in naming their towns so colorfully. With out them, the author w ould have h ad to find some o ther place to mak e fun of.) rx Meadowlands, Pennsyl va nia, Grand National H alf Mile ... Belgium won th e Trop hee d es Nat ions, wi th the United States finishing fifth. We tested the Bullaco 25 0 Pu rsang II m ot ocr osser and the Can-Am 175 Qualifier end uro. 10YEARS AGO.., SEPTEMBER 21,1 988 " . D a n es dominate!" w a s th e hea d lin e used to explain how the all-co nq uering Da ni sh speed w ay team ca me to A m eri ca a n d kicked ou r b utts in the 1988 World Tea m Cu p a t Vetera ns Stad ium in Long Beach , Ca lifo rnia . Unlike th e elec trifying 1985 World Team Cup held in Long Beach , in this event Team USA was never in the hunt... Elsewher e in th e sa m e is su e , w e g a v e yo u the re port o f th e 1988 World Fin a l, where Eri k Gundersen (G M) d e feated re igning W o rld Champion Hans Ni elsen (Gd n) in a runoff for th e title. America n Sam Ermolen ko (GM) finished fourth... Da n Ingram (Ho n) was awarded th e w in at t he Sy racuse Mil e a fte r Bubba Shobert was di squalified for having a motorcycle that w a s u n d er th e m inim um req u ired w eight of 320 po unds ... D ave Matso n set tw o new records with his Vincent Black Sha dow during Bo nn evill e Speed Week, ru n ning 225 mph with a fairing and 210 mph without. l~ , C') N I-< IlJ .c E IlJ ..... 0... Evel Knievel floats down over the Snake River In Ida ho after hi s failed attempt at jumping the gorge. Photo from the Cycle News archives . IlJ sr: 75

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