Cycle News - Archive Issues - 1990's

DNF' By Maill HOyer t's a hell of a thing to call a guy's column. "DNF" isn't dever, nor dashing - and it wasn't even my choice. But at's what I got when I was pushed (at he last minute, like now) to write the ery first column of my young motoournalist career roughly one year ago. at column was about a trial I rode y first trial, incidentally - and my secnd-ever competitive dirt-riding outing. didn't finish (they wanted me to ride at torture loop three times!), and so the ame. My dirt-racing debu t came at the 994 Cycle News Christmas Grand Prix t Carlsbad Raceway in Southern Caliontia. That Grand Prix was my first ££icially sanctioned race on a motorcye, on the road or off, ever. And every ne of the other racers had a choice hen it came to their mount; being the reenest guy on the sta ff (personal ygiene notwithstanding), choice was ot an option. Initially r was led to lieve that I could chopse, and given e choice, I opted for the Honda CR125. y thoughts were that I'd be least likely o end up on a stretcher if there wasn't 00 much blast connected to the right .andgrip. Men can be cruel. When the trashking and chest-pounding started getting in the way of the usually highly professional working relationships here in the esteemed editorial offices, I hapened across the final list of riders and hich bikes they would be riding: "#14 Mark Hoyer - CR500." Being the copy editor at the time, my first assumption was that is was a typo. I got out my mighty red pen and made the correction: "#14 Mark Hoyer - CRI25." I felt better... until I noticed a small error of redundancy: The 125 was already on this list - right next to the name of one of the ad salesmen for our sister publication Personal Watercraft flIustrated. Surely, even being the lowest-ranked member of the editorial department, I'd still come before an ad guy. No change came through, no last-ntinute pardon from the governor, and r was stuck with the monster open-c1asser and sure death: A rite of passage, I think they call it. The race was a disaster. First the slow guys passed me. Then the comer workers / track marshalls passed me. I knew I was in trouble when they later lapped me. My "speed" on the track probably left some of the other racers wondering if they had perhaps wandered onto a trials loop (though it was certainly a good warmup for my upcoming trial). The only time the wheels came off the ground was when the bike was upside down and laying on top of me. When eventual winner Chris Jonnum (departed CN editor now swimming for a living at PWI) passed me just around halfway through my second loop...er, I mean lap, I couldn't believe how fast he was going. Jonnum probably thought, "Oh, how thoughtful: public sculpture to beautify the ·course. Too bad the artist didn't do a little research, that rider's form is terrible." I went on to round out the top 15. Because of my glacial pace the next race was already lined up and waiting to start as I crossed the finish line. Boy, they sure looked bored. That finish was forgotten as the more-recent non-finish from the trial shone brightly in the eyes of my fellow editors, and the name for my column stuck. Trials was a pretty rough experience, though r initially thought because they customarily went so slowly that I might do all right. Having clearly been wrong, I decided to try my hand in the real offroad scene: The Sawmill National Enduro. To think, I'd be riding on the same course as Ty Davis, Randy Hawkins and Steve Hatch - albeit on minute 117. That career lasted exactly three checks, when my machine fouled its final spark ·plug. I'd already put three plugs in before (two prior to the start) and I was determined to make it to the end and get my finisher's pin - so I started kicking. And kicking. Half an hour later I was stjll kicking, when a narrow downhill trail caught my eye. "Ah, '25 YEARS AGO... DECEMBER 15, 1970 Barstow to Vegas trail ride drew hunnate the main event. National 250cc dreds of entrants, including activist Champion Jeff Stanton finished second, Louis McKey, also known as the Phanputting him just one point shy of clinch. tom Duck of the Desert, who finished on ing the Masters of Motocross Series, a dual-purpose Yamaha 250. State while NaHonal 125cc Champion Guy [H\7iTiii'::'iI'IT',J=_Assemblyman .Bob Hayes was not so Cooper took third... Terry Rymer won fortunate, suffering a breakdown of the final round of the Superbike World .~~,.,,~ his Suzuki 125... Carlos Serrano Championship in Manfeild, New. racked up wins in the 125 and Zealand. World Champion Raymond 250cc classes in the Copa de Roche was second to Cuba, held in Via Oara. Serra- ._ .. )I • Rymer in the first race, no topped Russian, Belgian, - - ----_ and was leading in lap 22 15 YEARS AGO... Canadian and Mexican of the second when the oil DECEMBER 10, 1980 motocrossers and reportedly filter fell off his Ducati and ady luck smiled shaved three seconds off a ~""'i1 put him out of action. Rob on Bruce Lair, track lap record. ..... Phillis won the second race the big winner and second overall on the out of 496 particiday ... Duane Conner took EARS A... GO 5Y the overall Pro-class win at pants in the second !!!!Iiii~!!!!!!iiiii annual Cycle News Barstow !!!!!Oiii DECEMBER 5,1990 the first round of the Hare to Vegas Road Ride and Poker Run. Lair ailing his Kawasaki Scrambles Series in Cadiz, drew a king-high straight £lush to tie for across the cover was Kentucky. A total of 211 ridbest hand of the day, th'en drew high Jeff Matiasevich, winers campaigned the six-ntile card for the win. The runner-up claimed ner at the Tokyo Supercross. Matiasewooded course. Tony Hendon to be Ziggy Stardust, but he may have vich injured himself and the bike during was second and Terry Cunningham just been a lad insane... An unorganized the parade lap, but came back to domiwas third. CN IN':riRoAM T ~ ... aico's Ake .;;; Jonsson, who already had the Inter-Am championship looked up, went out and cleaned house M anyway in all';: ilM ,,,- _"'I 'r... ~.::! - ~__ ~ - three motos of the series Finale ~:-'-~-'7-----1 at Southern California's Saddleback park. Husky's Bengt Aberg rounded out the day and the season with a second, and third (fifth in series) went to Sylvain Geboers on a works Suzuki... As an indoor short track series in San Jose came down to its final race, Bill Morgan had such a lead that he only had to make the main event to win the series, while Dave Hansen had to win even if Morgan didn't get there. Well, Morgan's engine stopped in a heat the huntiliation of being towed back to the start by a guy riding a quad - and the humiliation of another failure to finish. Which brings me to this year's Grand Prix. I will finish, and not in last place. Se.e, now I've got experience, and I've made some progress. The focus of my training has been shifted - no more trials, no enduros. r needed speed. I needed to catch air. I needed to not get lost. I went motocrossing. You'll note from the accompanying photographs a distinct improvement in style after my numerous (two) secret test sessions. Everyone needs goals, and the motivation for my improvement is a potential bald head. Genetics aside, I've decided that r must beat editor Carnlthers. If I do, you'll know, because his head will be shaved. This year's Grand Prix will be different, and I will have • enough justification, Carruthers' bald' head as proof, to change the name on this space. a gravity - I didn't get a D in physics for nothing." So r pushed the bike. to the trail head, gave a mighty shove and headed for internal combustion (the bike's, not my own). 'There wasn't even a teaser after I dumped the clutch, just that wide-open-throttle baaaahhhhh that fades away with your diminishing momentum. Take my advice, once you foul a plug and don't have another to replace it, find some shade, sit down and let your ntind wander because you won't be. A 117th-minute start pretty much ensures that there won't be too many riders coming up from behind you, and now I was off the trail a few hundred yards and completely out of sight. Of course, in my countless minutes of preparation for the event, I didn't bring any food, or e.ven water. Yeah, I was eventually rescued, but I had to suffer AFTER* 'Editor's conception --'idIraa. L S "-r...,.__ Lr) 0\ 0\ "'"'" \!5 l-< (1) 1 u .(1) c 47

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