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fint exclusive report:
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347TH ANNUAL ELEPHANT RALLYE
Team Peter Pan departs Arkansas confident of victory
PEENUlTI EST , ARK .• APR. I
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Responding to promised contingencies of upwards of a
dollar (U.S.), the Peter Pan Peanut Butter Team
stormed off today from thei r zoo-side home pit area.
The sidewalk sighed und er the burden of the jeer ing mob
of well wishers who screamed and th rew tokens of their
approval at Peenuttiest's entry in this year's
International Annua l Elephant Rallye as t hey exited the
tow n square.
At a pre-departure interview, team captain, Bimbo , a
modest youngster of Hindu extraction, could do litt le
more than flap his ears and mumble "Tusk, tusk ." The
pressure was clearly on him. The spry bull is the team's
main hope in th is year's pachyderm marathon.
Team manager and race fan Burnum Bailey quipped in
front of several reporters, " It' s not how you get there,
it 's how you go about arriving where you want to get."
His comment was met with riotous applause, as the press
corps bustled the ir way out of the pit area, being
carefu l to watch their step .
Not to be out-done by Bailey, Mayor L. Eefantbreth
stepped before the press entourage and let it be
known that the prizes furn ished, in his word s, " Ain't
hay." His point was well taken by any of those few
who were listeneing at the t ime.
Walt Disney celebr ity and home town hero, Dumbo
Dumbo, was also on hand for the well -publicized departure
of Team Peter Pan. Traveling incognito and barely
recognizable beh ind his custom Foster Grants, Dumbo
slipped among the crowd, blend ing in as one of the just
plain folks . His sojourn am idst the commoners was
rude ly interrupt ed when crafty Paparrazzi spotted
that all too fam iliar feather in his trunk and began
' hounding him with quest ions.
One salty " newser" even taunted .Dumbo about his
oft -whispered -about romance with screen tasty Raquel
Welch. Th e clearly offended Mr. Dumbo po inted ly took
exception to the remark and nonchalantly stepped on
the inquirer's face.
Peenuttiest, Arkansas is no stranger to such
lively motorcycle hi-jinks and celebrity appearances.
Each year town hopefuls weigh in then weigh anchor for
that long trek across the U.S. to battle European
teams in Africa . It was on ly ten years ago that Team
Hannibal placed in the African Final of this long-time
classic rallye.
Motomonthly! sends its best wishes, and several
bunches of bananas, to Team Peter Pan. Good luck and
God speed .
By the way. do any of you readers know how to get
an elephant out of your drawers? .
