Cycle News is a weekly magazine that covers all aspects of motorcycling including Supercross, Motocross and MotoGP as well as new motorcycles
Issue link: https://magazine.cyclenews.com/i/125720
Ii! .. 0.. .J o o ... ...J 0:: 0.. « ~ By Rod Breaker Ever wonder what to do with all those pieces and parts that bend so neat ~ wilen you get out the old hammer to work on your scoot? Here's what I d do...weld them together in wonderful globs that work great for door ~ stops, flower pots and paper weights. w MOtOCTOSS races are not run on the leveL MESH-MASH composed of three clutch hubs and a flywheel base. Kinda reminds me of a Bonneville with the timing cover off. QUALITY CONTROL - my masterpiece, stil unfinished, will eventually be chromed anc set outside the door of my home to frighte, away malevolent birds and bill collectors. HOLIER THAN THOU is an offset crank and piston out of myoid economy run machine. Almost had it weaned doyvn to 100 mpg. Not too bad for a 400cc 2 ..troke. FLASH! A late-night fire completely gutted the left- and center-section bleachers of Escort Park just after presstime. Firemen estimated the damage to the popular motorcycle stadium as "extensive, clearly in excess of 40 dollars. n R.O.R.E. from the Capitol Which of the following are April Fool Day gags? AF 321: Prohibits inhumane treatment of animals including the placing .of metal objects in the mouth of a horse. Also prohibits the use of collars, saddles, cinch straps, or other types of binders when such devices may prove uncomfortable to the anintaL AF 624: In the best interest of personal safety and protection from injury ,the wearing of shoes, boots and all related footgear which might cause the person wearing such footgear to suffer a blister, is forbidden while walking, running, jogging, or hiking the forests of this state. AF 789: Prohibits the use of binoculars and other magnifying devices for the spying and observation of the sex uaI behavior of birds_ S8 290: Establishes the use of color coding for the control of motor vehicle speeds. Requires the use of black letters against colored backgrounds on signs indicating speed lintits, as follows: A. Red for 25 MPH or less B. Green for 26 to 35 MPH. C. YeUow for 36 to 45 MPH. D. Blue for 46 to 60 MPH. E. White for 61 to 75 MPH. Requires the painting of highway lane-dividing stripes to be colored in a manner which corresponds to the above. Each motor vehicle shall be equipped with a variable speed governor which is capable of restricting the speed of a vehicle to each of the five forementioned speed. The interior of WONDER-TOOL every motor vchicle will be equipped with a speed control panel consisting of five colored buttons which correspond to the speeds and colors listed above. The colored buttons will control the governor. Light panels, consisting of five colored lamps, will be mounted on the front and rear of every new or used vehicle. Each lights must be no less than five inches nor more than six inches in diameter. The governor whall be designed and installed so that the maximum speed at which the vehicle may be driven can be varied by means of depressing buttons on the speed control panel. The governor and speed control panel shall be so interconnected that the vehicle cannot be driven in excess of the pseeds indicated above aft the designated button is depressed and until another button is depressed. Each button on the speed control panel shall be connected with the light banks in such a manner that when a button is depressed, the corresponding lamp in the light bank is . illuminated. No person shall drive a ~ vehicle on a highway unless and until ii the lights in the light banks on his;: vehicle corresponding to the color o f . . the roadway markings are illuminated..:; ANSWER ~ We thought that this April Fool's E column would give you a few chuckles. BUT,. if our readers from Alameda ~ County knew that their own Senator" Petris actually did introduce SB 290 before the 1971 State Legislature, we" s: t bet that Our condolences! a mood for laughter. they are not in II- NEW PRODUCTS J ebco announces a new universal spanner wrench. Hand-stamped from the finest ;-ecycled tin available, this wonder revolutionary wonder·tool will replace a hole boxfull of open·end, crescent, and box wrenched. Comes --with handy carrying case. Specify metric, Whitworth, or SAE. $13.95, ppd. Please, send a letter of "get weU" to M. Lee, she fell off her soap box and broke her Bungy! GENE LEE Long Beach, Calif. INDOOR GP SET OUTRAGEOUS, NEV., April I, 1971 Desert rider John McCowen who for the past several years has ridden with his pooch Cookie in his lap, suffered a freak accident at the Dustsuckers M.C. Hare & Hound. After being knocked off his machine by a low-hanging branch, McCowen is reported in good condition, although a bit shaken. Cookie, however, went on to take fourth overall. "Years of incessant barking and yapping couldn't convince John that he was holding me back" she woofed to Psycho Nudes canine editor, Fido. "I don't mind having hint along sometimes, but when it gets right down the nitty gritty, he's too heavy." Cookie also compalined about the l: iC 1_~la~C~k.o~f~fir;.;.e~h~y~dra;.;.~n~ts;.;;in;.;.th..;,e~p~i~ts~. ..;:;;;;;;;;;::.=;:::.;;;;;;:::..