Cycle News - Archive Issues - 1960's

HOW ·TO STAGE AN ELECTION YEAR RUN FOR FUN AND PROPHET rately predict the legitimate election outcomes , ' the lucky one who guesses the best Is the winner. Advance preparation for the run requires mimeographing a basic ballot form. This form should have voting blanks along the left hand side, a candidate's name (or write-in space) for each blank, and the voting category at the right hand side. Horizontally, the ballot Is divided into four sections; one group for President, another for VlcePresident, and the two other categories for Senator and Dogcatcher (which most people wouldn't vote for , anyhow). The more names per section, the less chance B y Roger f1ull of a lie. There should be about ten selections aval1able for the first two It's an election year and that means opinion polls, straw votes, mock conoffices; at least five In the other two. ventions, and cancelled television favorThe names can be those of any potential ttes, By the time November 5 f1nally (or even non-potential) candidate -arrives, everybody will clalm to be convention res u Its not withstanding bored stupid with the whole campaign. (some people still want Stassen). For Yeah? exam ple , in the Presldental gr oup such Then how corne they voice angry names as Snoopy. L~'Ddon Johnson (It opinions and quote from their favorite jus t might happen , you know) ana 1' at candidates at a sound level which Is Paulsen could be Included among such several decibels louder than that of a contenders as Nixon and Humphrey. muff1erless chopper? Vlce-Presldental candidates could be It's obvious that motorcyclists - any (or all ) of those running for Presjust like ordinary people -- do watch Ident plus a few other shady mounts pretty closely as the candidates pound like John Lindsay, Charles Percy, or their platforms and whistle their stops. even Raquel Welch. Of course, the list . This Is only fair considering the Interest of names for the Senatorial race will some of the Incumbents have taken In depend upon the state (the one In which motorcyclists. You know mandatory the run takes place, not that of the helmets, eye protection laws, and all candidates themselves) . All the legitithose other confessions of motherly mate candidates plus a couple of local concern. As a result, It's a rare rider characters can f1ll out this section. .who. hasn't a definite opinion on each. (The sample Illustration Is designed for It may seem quite a tour from motorcanrornia.) cycling to politics, but the two can be Finally, the posslblllties for Dogcatchcombined for fun and prophet In a er are endless. They might Include anydifferent type of bike run. Bas ically, body from Lyndon Johnson to Charlie It's a variation on the poker run (which , Brown (both have had a certain amount 'when you get r ight down to It , is almost of experience with Beagles); from ShIrley Identical to the elective process anyhow). Temple Black to Charles DeGaulle; or Instead of drawing a card at each check even member s of the Election Run sponpoint, the rider casts a ballot. At the soring group. In all categories, a wrlteend of the run, the votes are counted in provision permits riders to corne up (or miscounted, depending upon how with their own Interesting suggestions. close the poll is suppose to resemble Once the ballot forms are prepared, the real thing). It all results In jus t the gerrymandering begins. The blind another opinion poll but one where the ballot Is obtained by cutting off the leftvoting provides the fun. hand side which contains only the voting An election run can be sponsored by blanks. This provides a long skinny a small group. It requires the minimum ballot which can be marked at random of flve check point attendants (of mixed and signed by each rider at the depoli tical heritage if possible) , a batch parture point. of ballots (one mimeographed form can Cut a batch of ballot forms horibe gerrymandered to cover all the needs), zontally at each category division and flve ballot boxes (unstuffed), and a few quicker than you can throw a slug of marking utensils (preferably some which mud, you have ballots for each of the don't work -- just to add another little various check points. All those from the realistic touch to the proceedings). top go to the flrst polls. The.next batch The procedure Is as simple as a to Poll Number 2, and so forth. campaign poster. As each entrant signs The office designation at the r ight in at the departure point, he is given hand side of each ballot Is the portion a blind ballot; one minus the candidates' torn off by the check point attendant as names so he has no idea for whom he the vote Is cast. This stub is returned is voting (thus simulating the circumto the voting ride!' (or is it r iding stances in many local elections). The voter?) as proof he visited thatparticular blind ballot is divided into four sections. precinct. Each r ider selects one blank in each When the forms are mimeographed, group, marks It with an X, signs his enough should be made to provide a name on the back, and drops It In the supply equal to about 2 J per particfirst ballot box. His luck In selecting Ipant -- plus a few spares for tallying the proper blanks on his blind ballot the vote, posting the results, and for will determine his score at the end. those Idiots who are going to goof up After casting his blind ballot, the their ballots. rider takes off for the flr s t polling After the polls close, the attendants place. There he Is given the flrst of count the votes and determine which four ballots which do contain the names candidates rank first and second as of candidates, He votes for the per son favorites of the riders. The flrst preof his choice and gives It to the check ference In each category Is compared point attendant who tears off a stub to the blind ballots. E a c h race Is and returns It to the r ider (as proof weighted differently. Presidental winhe has voted at that particular check ners score 10 points, Vice-Presidents point). The ballot goes Into the box and are worth 5 points (at least on this run ), the r ider goes on to the next precinct Senators are 3, and Dogcatchers get I. where the procedure Is repeated, but Any rider who succeeds In predicting for a different elective office. For ex. the correct outcome of al l four races ample, the first ballot could be for has a perfect score: 19 points. The odds Presldental choices; the second one are about the same as those favoring a for Vice Presldental preferences, and return of prohibition. If a tie should so on. occur, however, the tying riders are By the time he checks In at the last asked to predict the number two posiprecinct, the rider has marked one blind tions In each category, and are scored and four name ballots (the last one at aga in. Now the odds favorJ.qg another the flnal destination). Now he awaits tie are about the same as those for a the election results. re-make of "The Wlld One" with Tiny Meanwhlle, back at the polls, the Tim In the Marlon Brando role. attendants are counting ballots to disAt the victory party (and there's got cover the riders' preferences for the to be a Victory party no matter who various offices. The r esults of these wins), the' results are posted and then straw votes are compared to the blind ' trophies are presented In the usual ballots to determine which r ider Is fashion (contus ed), Winners should be the best political prognosticator. In other checked befOre hand to be sure they words, just like the pundits who accupossess all four voting stubs; otherwise, SALES SERVICE HaCKIES MOTORCYCLES HODAKA YANKEE OSSA GREEVES Compl.tl lIadllnl Shop Facll ltil' "nut.ctur.r ot Quality Mot.cycl •• 22025 So. F igueroa T,Q,rance, Calilor\lia .~13) 328-1242 they are disqualified. For those who would like still another pin for their Harly hat, each rider can be given his choice of some honest-toWashington campaign buttons (which the sponsoring group can ' obtain at the varIous candidates ' headquarters) or, perhaps, some of the gag buttons (like the Snoopy or Pat Paulsen for Pr esident badges) . can be given away. Bumper stickers and campaign posters might serve as "tour awards," too. All In all , It's not ll kely that an Ele ction Run will alter anybody's poli tical faiths or make much of a splash on the national scene. But It Is a good way to have a little fun (otherwise difflcult to find in an election year) and, let's face It, the results of the run will be no more valid than a politician's smlle. Anyhow, It's not the results of the run which Is the Idea of the thing -it' s the run which results . Snoopy o o o o o (wrlt..ln) Glorge Wallace Hubert Humphrey Ronald Reagan Rldlard NIxon .0 Lyndon Johnson o Pat Paulsen o o o o o George Wallace o Chades Percy John Lindsay Ronald Reagan I- z w Eugene McCarthy CI en w Richard Nixon II: o o o o Hubert Humphrey o a. .J.. u :> Alan Cranston Raquel Welch (wrlt..ln) Charlie Brown iNTENSiFiED -- - = -- ---- --== =~~ ===~: =~::::: HODAKAS by. o o o o II: JOI pyne CI I- et Max Rafferty Z (wrl t..ln) W en CROWELL Order your custom set up competition HODAKA NOW! Glrllng shocks -' Extended Front Forks 19- Front wheel - Bobby·J" Air Cleaner. Choice 01 Tires - Crowell Port Job Ralph WIIII.ms Number Plate - Skid Plate Crowell Tuned Pipe - Fork' Brace i Charlie Brown II: (wrlt..ln) W ::c u o Shirley Templl Black o Lyndon Johnson U o Chari.. DeGaulle 10427 Prairie, Inglewood Phone 8 I- et MAKE IT OONG willi lIIe A.C.E. ADJUSTABLE FORK CROWN made to lit all motorcycl.. and all lorks PATENT PENDING • ",1AiII. . . c:J 00 r.J WE SHfF ANYWHERE. 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