Cycle News is a weekly magazine that covers all aspects of motorcycling including Supercross, Motocross and MotoGP as well as new motorcycles
Issue link: https://magazine.cyclenews.com/i/774093
VOL. 54 ISSUE 2 JNUARY 17, 2017 P103 burden. Although not as heavy has his wallet. 3 – Valentino Rossi didn't buy ex-crew chief Jeremy Burgess a gold watch for long service when he dumped him without ceremo- ny back in 2013 after 14 years, 80 wins and seven champion- ships. But he'll make up for it this year—buying himself an even bigger gold watch to celebrate his own 21st season. Yup, Valen- tino comes of age in 2017 as the longest-serving continuous race winner of all time. Perhaps his dad will buy him a sports car. 4 – Andrea Iannone's sea- son ticket to the Clinica Mobile expires, and the renewal fee will be doubled. This is a special concession, resulting from his switch to the sweet-handling Su- zuki. Had he stayed with Ducati, it would have been tripled. 5 – Cal Crutchlow will grow a handlebar mustache. Not so much to look like his dad, the venerable Dek, but as a conse- quence of losing his sweatband at Misano last time out. The hirsute growth will absorb the sweat, preventing loss of vision due to a flooded visor. 6 – Andrea Dovizioso will achieve a major first, when he falls asleep on Losail's long straight—lulled not only by the midnight hour of the season- opening night race, but also his own conservative riding style. 7 – Maverick Vinales will build a huge midseason points lead in his first year on the Yamaha, only for it to be squandered thereaf- ter as he misses race after race suffering from mysterious (and mysteriously repetitive) food poi- soning. This malady will only be cured when he stops sitting next to Rossi for dinner in Yamaha's hospitality unit. 8 – Bradley Smith will be of- fered a senior lecturing post at a number of universities, after demonstrating the detail of his engineering understanding and gift for clear explanation, in his always articulate debriefs de- scribing the shortcomings of the all-new KTM. 9 – Dani Pedrosa will retire at the end of the season, looking as bemused as he feels after a whole year of racing when he didn't get knocked off even once. 10 – The Espargaro broth- ers will swap leathers and bikes midseason, Pol taking Aleix's Aprilia and Aleix jumping on the KTM. Even though they don't look alike, only Spanish people will notice. 11 – Sam Lowes will abandon the crash-or-win style that blight- ed his otherwise impressive Moto2 season last year. Now on the Aprilia MotoGP bike, it will perforce be crash-or-not-win. 12 – Jack Miller will topple off the podium in distress at Qatar, after drinking the compulsorily non-alcoholic "champagne" from another rider's boot by mistake. 13 – Hector Barbera will complain of Rossi, Marquez and Lorenzo following him to improve their qualifying times. 14 – Eugene Laverty will start winning races straight away in World Superbikes, and likewise Stefan Bradl—suggesting that MotoGP made a big mistake in letting them go. 15 – New Moto2 rules will be announced. With immediate effect, all machines will have to have headlights, indicators, and a homologated sidestand. Riders will be penalized for not indicating, in the event of any overtaking. 16 – In Moto3, in a continued attempt to prevent follow-my- leader groups in qualifying, any rider leading such a group will be penalized, and qualifying times will run in reverse order, the slowest at the front of the grid. 17 – India and Indonesia will be promised places on the GP calendar soonest. But we'll still have at least three races in Spain. 18 – A new committee will be formed to monitor and if neces- sary overrule decisions taken by Race Direction. It will be called Race Direction Direction. And remember, you read it here first. CN